THE REAL HER

Chapter 13

I knew what I had to do or what I was going to do but that didn't mean that I was looking forward to it or that it was going to be easy. I spent the whole weekend with my family in attempt to take my mind off my troubles and it worked for the most part. I wanted so badly to confide in my mom about what I was going through but my dad was around and I didn't want him knowing about me and Jayson. Or the fact that there was a possibility of a me and Jayson.

That Monday morning when I woke up I had my mind made up. On my way to school that morning I texted Greg and made plans for us this weekend in advance to meet on Saturday. I figured that if I was going to break up with him the least I could do was be woman enough to do it face to face.

Even then I had to basically beg him to meet me. He couldn't meet me Saturday night, something about plans that he couldn't break so I told him to meet me late Saturday morning. He acted like meeting up with me was the last thing he wanted to do and it only confirmed that I was making the right decision in ending what we had going on.

This Saturday I was officially calling off my engagement and officially ending things with Greg once and for all. The week seemed to fly by quick and to take my mind off of what I had to do tomorrow I decided to spend Friday night by going out and having some much needed fun. Of course Alicia was never one to turn down going out so it would be just me and her.

So Friday night after school I took a nap and then woke up, took a shower, did my makeup and put on the sexiest dress in my closet and my highest heels. I wanted to turn some heads and I knew that I was.

Alicia was driving since I planned to have more than a few drinks tonight. There was a new club opening up in the next city over and I had already called ahead and reserved a VIP section but before the club I was going to treat Alicia to a dinner. The dinner was a thank you for being such a great friend and always having my back. I may not have always appreciated how blunt she was but I knew without a doubt that she was just looking out for me and I loved her for that.

The restaurant we were going to was the one Greg took me to two weeks ago, the same one where Jayson and me crossed the line. The restaurant was great and I never got to fully enjoy myself or my meal between Greg and Jayson. Once we got to the restaurant we walked inside and the hosted shows us to our table. Once we were seated we looked over our menus, ordered and sipped on our wine as we waited for our food to come.

"So how are you with everything," Alicia asked.

"I'm fine," I shrugged swirling my wine around in my glass to distract myself from looking at her so she couldn't read me, too bad she could anyway.

"Your lying. You plan on ending a four year relationship with not just your boyfriend but your fiance. We both know that I'm not a fan of Greg but I know you cared about him and in some way you still do."

She was right as usual when it came to reading me.

"It's just weird. We've been together for four years. Had our good times and bad. At one point I couldn't picture being with anyone else but now it's the opposite. Over the years he's changed and I can't help but feel like it's my fault."

"That's ridiculous."

"It isn't. I let him get away with too much. Canceling plans, not calling, not coming to see me. I could have tried harder, called more. I could have shown up to see him but I didn't. A part of me didn't mind and maybe that's because maybe deep down I didn't care."

I had to own up to my part in all of this. If I was being honest me and Greg should have never been engaged in the first place and ever since he proposed he's been treating me like I mean nothing to him. All of this time I was in denial because I thought we could make this work but now I realized we were far to past that. I loved Greg but that love I had for him faded away had long before Jayson came back into town.