The Bad Boy Austin Mahone Fantic

26. Only If She Knew

"Only If She Knew"

Caitlin’s POV

One month later...

It’s been a month. A whole month without talking to Austin. I still love him, and I always will. If he needs me I’ll be there. But, I just got over him a few days ago. He let me down harshly, and I needed recovery time for that. But, again…I still love him. Not in the way where I want to be together with him just as a friend I guess. Now, I’m just done with him. I’m going to keep the feeling that I have for him stored inside of me and not tell anyone. It’s for the best. I haven’t told anyone about my feelings for Austin right now, not even Rachel knows. And I am keeping it that way. I’m just going to completely ignore him like it’s been the past month. He hasn’t even looked at me. I’m stronger than before. I need to show him that I’m not weak anymore. I have to make it look like I don’t want to do anything with him. I don’t want to have anything to do with him, really. Just way down, I still love him as a friend. Like 5% of me. Then the other 95% is pure hate, I think. I don’t know what to think. I’m just done thinking about it.

I made my way downstairs to the door for school. Yayyy! I can’t wait to go to jail for 6 or 7 hours.

Rachel picked me up and we went to school. She noticed I’ve been acting different. I just told her my grandparents died. I haven’t seen my grandparents in years. I wish I could though. I don’t even know where they live. My mom’s parents moved to Florida for good. And my dad’s parents…I don’t know where the hell they are. I never even met them. My dad refused to let me meet them, my own grandparents. He doesn’t talk to them anymore.

I walked into school. It was Friday, thank god. This has been a long week. We had finals and my state of being right now is just messed up. I’ve been ‘healing’ all month and this week has been the first week I’ve done things I usually do. Like go out with Rachel. We do everything together.

I had gym first period today. My classes rotate every day. Austin was in this class. That was the worst thing about it. But on the other hand, I loved this class. I have always liked gym. Especially now because we are doing gymnastics and teamwork exercises. I like the gymnastics part the best, because that is the closest sport to cheerleading that we do in gym.

I changed into my leggings and t shirt and made my way to the center of the gym where the teacher was telling us what we were doing today.

“Okay class! Today we will be doing 3 teamwork exercises. First we will do the human knot.” He said and then split the class into four groups. Each group had about 8 people. Can you guess who was in my group?

“Now stand in a circle shoulder to shoulder and cross your arms.” We all did as he said and I made sure to be on the opposite side of the circle as Austin.

“Then grab two hands in the circle, and not the person next to you. The objective of the game is to untangle the knot without anyone letting go of each other’s hands. You may begin.”

I stuck my hands out and grabbed two hands. I grabbed my friend Erica’s hand. We weren’t like besties, but we talked at lunch and had a few classes together.

I was just looking down trying not to look at him, when a hand grabbed mine.

I got this tingly feeling throughout my whole body. I didn’t even know who grabbed my hand so quickly, but it made me feel nervous and excited. That explains the tingly feeling.

I followed the person’s hand, up their arm, and to their face.

No! It was Austin. I can’t do that. And why did he grab my hand? I thought he wanted nothing to do with me.