{ #2 } I Would Give Him The Moon (MxM || 18+)

Chapter 59 - Help... I Need Help...

(Joshua's POV - Fri. 2 May 2014)

Fuck! Doctor Camden Hall said my sprained ankle was getting better, but the fucker took it hard on my poor joint and the physical exercise he made me do together with the massage he provided revived the shooting pain. However, the new strapping bandage is tighter than the previous one which had gone loose with time so it should get better, but I can't help slightly limping as I walk out of his practice and head toward the car. Tony, who still looks like a bear with a sore head in my presence, opens the door for me and I slip in, ignoring the stubborn man's dark expression. Despite my recent and sincere apologies for what happened the week before, his attitude has become a routine; once again, the ride is extremely silent and tense, but I don't feel like checking my emails on my phone so I just look at the landscape on our way to work. Just as we pass in front of the Pierce building, I see the young blond-haired man whom I have been craving to hold in my arms so much, absent-mindedly climb the flight of stairs that leads to the entrance.

"Tony, please stop the car!" I shout, suddenly unable to resist the urge to go and be near him.

"What the hell..." Tony begins to say as he pulls over but I don't get to hear the rest of his words as I immediately rush out of the car. I wince at the pain in my ankle when I leap up the stairs and burst into the building. Cam would kill me if he saw me running!

Surprisingly, the hall is almost empty except for Markus, the security guy, and the receptionist. I greet them both with a nod as I nearly run toward the elevators. The doors are about to shut when I reach them but I manage to slide in, relieved and happy to see that there is only one occupier in the cage, and press the 21st floor button. Our eyes meet for the briefest tenth of a second, just enough for him to find out who just jumped in and I see him tense and lower his head. Shit! What am I supposed to do now? I know that I have barely fifteen seconds to do the right move.

"Good morning, Liam," I say loud and clear, making him tense a little more while the knuckles of his fingers whiten around the handle of his bag in front of his crotch, contrasting with the deep blush coloring his face. I would like to see his eyes and read what they have to tell me, but he keeps them cast down, even when he mumbles a barely audible 'Morning, Sir, leaving me speechless and frozen. I am at a total loss here. What should I tell him? I love you? And then? In a few seconds, he will be out on his floor. This is definitely not the right time to do this. I don't even know how to do this! All I know is that my body is aching with the need to have him against me, to hold him in my arms and to run my fingers through his blond strands.

During the few seconds that we spend together in the elevator, I watch him nibble on his lower lip with stress, wondering what could be going on in that little head of his, but all too soon, we reach his floor and he gets ready to jump out. I need to fix this. I need to tell him how I would like to invite him out for dinner so that we can talk. However, as soon as the doors open, he runs out and it is too late when the words are finally about to pour out of my mouth. My heart constricts with pain at the thought of letting him slip from my reach again, but the nearby open space full of architects and engineers forbids me anything better than a whispered call out. He just purely ignores me but there is no way I am going to cause a scene here, so I give up for the moment and let the elevator take me to my floor.

Ally told me she wouldn't be in until 9:45 today, so I allow myself a few minutes on my couch to recover from this short episode, closing my eyes. There are so many things I wanted to tell him. I wanted to ask him how he was doing; I wanted to propose a dinner or a lunch... but I fucked up. Again. Honestly, I don't really have a plan to get him back; this is not something I have ever done in the past and I don't know how I should do this. Besides, I haven't been in a relationship made of love in years and I feel like I have forgotten how it works. Am I even capable to express some feelings? I think that a lunch or a dinner would sound good. Being in public might help him to feel more comfortable around me. It would allow me enough time to explain myself... But that cold expression on his face; his eagerness to run away from me; how he ignored me...