The Hipsters

Only You + Me

"That...was amazing.", Silas grinned at me. We laid up in his bed with his arm around my waist and my hands were balancing myself on his chest.

"Well, thank you. It was a joint effort.", I joked. We giggled.

I've never felt more comfortable with another person in my life. It just felt right to be here with Silas, cuddling and making small talk after a while of doing much more than talking. We were both naked and smiling, without a care in the world. And maybe it's just post amazing sex-Bea talking, but I think I may love Silas again.

"Can I tell you something?", he asked me suddenly, running his index finger up and down my side. It sent chills down my spine, and I found that I had a hard time concentrating.

"Um, yes.", I said quickly. He chuckled.

"I'm going to NYU."

My content smile began to fade as his finger stopped midway at his words. His face no longer held the light blush I'd slightly grown attached to, and his eyes didn't have a happy glaze over them anymore. Oh, wait, maybe mine did. Nonetheless, the giddy, silly atmosphere we had a minute ago was gone, and as if to match the mood, the sun was suddenly masked by a moving cloud. The room just seemed depressing.

"New York, huh? That's wonderful," I mustered as enthusiastically as I could. I really did. But it's kind of hard to be excited when you find out that your crush/ex-boyfriend is moving to another state. And yet, Bea Benson remains a resilient creature, so, instead of displaying every emotion on my face, I kissed his, and smiled at him. "Good work."

Good work?

"Thank you," he said back. "Are you okay with that? You know, after everything that's happened, and now...this."

"I'm fine. Really. You're too bright for gloomy Boston anyway.", I shot him a smile. He smiled back and even chuckled a little at my joke, but I had a feeling he could tell I was lying. The last thing I wanted to do was cry in front of him, again.

Should I be honest with him? Or just go along with it, and then kick myself later, for letting the love of my life go?

Yes, I believe this amazing guy laid up next to me is the love of my life. The saying is, 'when you know, you know', right? Well, I know. At least I think I do.

He ran his fingers up and down my sides again, but this time I was only thinking of how guilty I felt for not being honest with him. He deserves that, at least, if not a confirmation from me that I'm ready to get back together.

I sat up on my elbows and looked down at him. "Silas, I really want you to go. It's not like I could stop you, anyway. It's just that...I don't know. New York is hours away, and we just got back to a place where there aren't any hard feelings. Yeah, sex only just confused things a little more, but regardless we're on a path that could go somewhere. I just think that not being in the same state as you, let alone room, might ruin things.", I admitted, a lump already forming in my throat.

"It's not going to ruin things. I promise. If anything, it'd make us more grateful for each other and it might even make me appreciate you even more than I already do. If that's possible.", he replied, pushing back a strand of my hair with his thumb.

"Well, I am a catch.", I shrugged. He laughed and pulled me back down onto his chest. We just stayed there for a while.

"Besides, I think we've both done all we could to fuck this up already.", I heard him say. I laughed at his words and then sighed.