The Hipsters

Warm Water

"Why did you tell Silas you would kill yourself if he didn't sleep with you?"

I know the question caught Hazel off guard, because she closed my computer and slowly walked over to me. "What?"

"I said, why did you tell Silas you would kill yourself if he didn't sleep with you?"

She stared at me, as if I were speaking a different language. This question shouldn't have come as a surprise. She should've expected the truth about that night to come out sooner or later. Maybe she thought that all the bad stuff would eventually fade away, and she could enjoy an easy life with the best friend she betrayed.

"It...I don't know. Why are we talking about this? I thought we were past it. I though you forgave me."

"Hazel, I did forgive you. But that doesn't mean I'm not going to ask questions about it. Now, please answer my question.", I said, as calmly as possible. I really wanted to just...yell at her or something. I never got over that night, I probably won't, not as long as she's living with me and trying to pretend it didn't happen. And maybe then, I'll be at ease and will just accept that Silas isn't mine, and my whole issue about college would be solved.

"I don't know why I said it. It just...it just slipped out.", she said. I knew it was a lie; anyone could tell it was a lie.

But today, I wasn't feeling too particularly lenient.

"You know exactly why you said it. Just...just once, can you not be full of shit?"

Hazel grimaced, her ears clearly taking offense at my harsh words. She stood up to leave, but before she could move her feet, I grabbed her arm and pulled her back.

"Just answer my question. You can't run from this forever."

She sighed, and crossed her legs. She opened her mouth to speak. "I didn't want to. I really didn't." He words were hesitant.

A tear rolled down her cheek, and then another.

"I told him that...that you wouldn't mind. That you didn't care if this happened, because you guys would still be together tomorrow. And I would still have Colin. If he never told anyone. I was going to use it for blackmail later on. I was going to make you feel how I felt when you told me that you were only person who loved me."

"When that didn't work...I started to panic. He was leaving. He was going to tell you everything. And I couldn't let him do that. So, I, um, told him, I would kill myself if he didn't sleep with me. And I know it sounds terrible, but it worked. And then afterwards you found us, and he apologized. But...when I was walking out, I felt horrible. I wished I had never done what I did. I slept in the living room that night and I left before you woke up, but...I wanted to go upstairs and apologize. But I knew the last person you wanted to see was me so I didn't. I just stood in front of the stairs just telling myself how much I fucked up this time."

I parted my lips to a shaky breath, and raised my index finger towards my bedroom door.

"Get your shit and leave."

"Please, Beatrix, I'm sorry. I have nowhere to go...Colin broke up with me, and Justin doesn't have enough space in his dorm for me. If could you just let me-"

"Let you what? Stay with us?"

"I-"

"Here, I'll help you." I walked over to my closet, where her two duffle bags were stationed on the floor. They were packed and looked as if they had never been touched.

"Here," I said tossing the bag near her feet. "You're already done."

She grabbed both bags and silently left, her feet dragging down the stairs. A few minutes later, she was outside, walking down the street. A guilty feeling lingered in my stomach, but I forced it down and moved away from the window.