The Hipsters

Cartoons + Cereal

"We should stop, Joey.", I said, pulling away.

"Why? What's wrong? I thought you wanted this...I thought you wanted me back."

"Well, not when you show up at my door unexpectedly.", I replied.

In this kind of situation, I would call Hazel. Not to say that exes always show up at my door after moving across the country. But, for obvious reasons, I'm not about to call her and hear Silas in the background, kissing everywhere except her lips. Sorry for the visual, but I can't imagine what else they'd be doing.

"Joey, look...I did miss you. But you're kinda putting me on the spot here. You just showed up here after us being broken up for a year, and you're expecting me to just date you again.", I explained.

"You know what? Fuck this, I'm gonna go fuck my neighbor.", he said, walking out.

Ah, yes. Good ol' Joey.

"Practice safe sex!", I yelled into the hallway.

+ + + + +

I wonder where my mom is. I mean, usually, I couldn't give two shits, but I was especially lonely today. And HGTV wasn't helping.

I opened the fridge and saw a note on the milk carton. I guess she knew I'd open the fridge eventually.

Out with Adam. Won't be back until 9. Pizza?
                                                                    x, Mom

She wasn't home until 9. That's ample time to for me to go over to the Public Garden. I just came up with that now.

I threw on my cardigan, and grabbed my camera and keys. I turned my phone on silent as I left the apartment, because I didn't exactly like people right now. Especially those that Single-White-Friend their best friends and steal their crushes and then act like it's an everyday thing. Or those who abandon their daughters for a guy 10 years younger than them. Or the ones who show up unexpectedly at your door, kiss you, then precede to go fuck their neighbor when you decline their offer to get back together.

                                   + + + +

I took pictures of people, of the bench I was sitting on, and of the ducks around the pond. It was then that I realized something.

My life practically centers around other people.

I spend so much time worrying about the opinions of those around me. Like with Hazel, I can't remember the last time I didn't do something with or for her. Besides moving, of course. I sometimes worry more about her than myself. Which isn't good or healthy, I know.

And now my brain won't save enough space for me to think about someone or something other than Silas. And I found myself mentally thinking up conversations that could've happened between us, or what shirt I could've  worn that wouldn't have came off as dorky to him. I don't know, he just seems like the type to care about being seen with a girl who's wearing a Sesame Street t-shirt.

But I guess none of that needed now, seeing as he's pretty much Hazel's now.

What I need to do, is do something without counting on someone to make it fun. Learn to be alone. Because that's what I am, as of now.

I took one last up close photo of the ducks waddling around and sat back down on the bench. I saw an old couple hold hands as they observed the park. I raised my camera to take a picture, but before I could, someone sat down next to me, and interrupted my me-time.