Metamorphosis

No words needed

Chapter 53

No words needed

Seth awoke earlier than he had hoped. Blinking his blurry eyes and looking around the room, he let his mind wake up.

A sleepy moan to his right made him turn his head. When he saw Mira sleeping soundly beside him, he couldn't help but smile.

Glancing at the clock, he groaned silently when he saw the square red numbers saying it was only 3:23 in the morning.

Last night's terror was really nothing new. For the last week of being on all kinds of different pain medications, his mind had been plagued with dark, intense dreams. The only thing different about last night was that someone was actually there.

Seth could not remember the last time someone had held him while he cried. After Carolyn had divorced his father and moved in with Dave, he had had nightmares and woken up screaming almost every night. As always, Carolyn ignored him and refused to get her son any help. After a while, however, the nightmares had stopped. He was not sure why his history of being sexually abused had suddenly become the main point of his nightly terror, but he wished he could make it stop.

But last night, she had been there. She had held him, talked to him, and let him speak to his baby. He poured his heart out to that child, saying everything he had wanted to say.

Since he had been stuck in bed for the last week, he had had lots of time to think. He thought about his life, he thought about his past and how it would affect his future, he thought about whether or not he had a future with Mira, and he thought about the baby.

Did he really have the right to keep a child if he was unable to take proper care of it? Could he really be part of proper couple, one who would love and raise the baby? What if he gave his son or daughter everything he had to offer, and it still was not enough?

So he had called Jerome into his room, asked the man to hand him his backpack, and signed the adoption papers right then and there.

He looked down at the sleeping figure beside him and couldn't help but smile. She was so innocent, so loving…

Seth often wondered how she would react if he told her his history. While a part of him wanted to tell her, another part told him that if he did, she would shun him, reject him. Maybe she would agree with Carolyn and say that he might try something with his kid.

Truthfully, that horror had plagued his mind since the minute he realized he was going to be a father. He had spent countless nights lying in bed, scared that Joseph's genes would eventually take over him and he would...

The brunet shook his head slightly to rid himself of those thoughts. He was nothing like Joseph Elsen. The only thing, the only thing they had in common was the same last name.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, Mira's upper body slowly went up and down with his chest.

Why did this have to happen? He was never supposed to be a father. He had made that vow a long time ago. But he had gotten drunk at Shelia Collins' party, saw those big, blue, innocent, virginal eyes, and knew he had to have her. It was supposed to be a one time thing.

Then two months later, she comes up to him and bluntly told him "I'm pregnant" and he knew he was screwed.

At first he had tried to distance himself, even going as far as telling her to get an abortion. He remembered the look in her eyes when he told her; the look of fear and hurt. She must have realized that he was giving up, and it hurt her more than he had meant to.

Seth never meant to hurt her. Whenever he looked back at all the shit he put her through, abandoning her and almost forcing her to abort, sleeping with her best friend, getting her pregnant…