Believe Tour *editing*

Thirty Eight: Journals

Charlotte's POV

I laid down in bed as I listened to Justin's new album.

I couldn't stop crying, and I wasn't even halfway through.

"... And I didn't think it was over
Until you walked away like it was nothing baby
And that moment was so hard for me to breathe, yeah
Cause you took away the biggest part of me, yeah
Life was so unpredictable, yeah
Never thought a love like yours would leave me all alone, oh no
Didn't waste any time
But you had already made up your mind
No sympathy
Cause I was out of line, oh yeah
But I didn't think you would let me
Down that easy, oh no girl
And I didn't think it was over
Until you walked away like it was nothing girl
It was a bad day, hey girl
I knew I was wrong, but you could've said goodbye baby
It was a bad day, now I'm like woah
It was a bad day, it was a bad day..."

I put a pillow over my face as I sobbed, not wanting anyone to hear me.

The album was released a couple of weeks ago, but I just couldn't bring myself to listen to it. I know it's about me, and I've heard a few of the songs before and they were so personal, I knew that if I listened to the rest I wouldn't be able to stop crying. Like right now.

But everyone kept telling me to listen to it, they kept telling me how good it was, and how good he sounded. I just had to listen to it.

Every word he sang felt so real, because it was. I felt like I was reliving our relationship again, every part and every moment.

The next song started playing and I stopped crying as I heard the lyrics. I took the pillow off my face and wiped my eyes as I smiled.

I put my hand over my mouth as I heard the next line

"... Up the stairs to my bedroom
Light a few candles, brace yourself
I'ma put you down
All the way down
On a plane, a train, an automobile, doesn't matter
I'ma put you down
All the way down
And it don't make no sense to be that bad
I'ma take it out on you, babe...
Put you down
This will show you how much I love you
For my appreciation
I'm a put you down
Ooh, 'cause you deserve the best
And nothing but the best
So I give you the best you've ever had
I'ma put you down
I'ma put you down..."

I was shocked.

He sounded amazing, obviously, I just never imagined him on a song like this. His old style is so different from this.

His vocals, his falsettos... amazing.

I calmed down after that song and continued listening to him sing about how lonely and sad he is, and how he wants me back. It made me want to call him, but I don't think it's appropriate, nor good.

It's been a month since I left, if we didn't speak before, now we speak less. Nothing at all. We cut ties completely. I still stalk him every now and then, I've seen paparazzi shots of him online, going to clubs, doing what he used to do before met me. But I don't get in his business.

It's better this way.

My life has gone back to normal. No paparazzi following me around, no strangers commenting mean things on my social media posts, it's all just school and dance rehearsals. And I like it this way.