Summertime Sadness (James McAvoy fanfiction)

Chapter 36: "Resurrect The Sun".

James P.O.V.

The same story had repeated again. The paramedics asked me so much questions I didn't know how to answer properly. They forced me to leave her hand. With eyes closed, she had no pulse. No beats, no more anything... Her heart was really weak because of the amount of lost blood, the internal bleeding too. That action was the trigger. Even they couldn't answer if she would ever wake up, or be the same again.

I called Michael when they took her to operation room. I explained everything the best I could through the phone. I didn't have an idea of what would I do anymore. I had no more hope, and the numbness filled slowly my chest. For one thing or another, we would never be happy, like she said.

I felt guilty. I could have stopped everything, and she would be reading her thesis late at nite.

''James, dude.'' Michael's voice spoke behind me. He sat next to me and put his arm around my back. ''I'm so sorry.''

''I could have stopped it.'' I mumbled, looking at nowhere.

''You didn't know.'' He said. ''Like the last time, you didn't know too.''

''She should be reading her thesis at home.'' I said. ''She just should be awake.''

''James...''

''I proposed to her yesterday.'' I chuckled nervous. ''I fucking proposed to her and she accepted.''

''That makes things worse.'' I heard Michael whisper.

''I need a break, I'm going crazy here.'' I said getting up. I left, and walked into the nearest bar I found. I needed to forget, to feel completely numb. I felt lost, hate to myself somehow like I said to Michael. I found myself immersed in my own thoughts, looking at one of many I had taken until someone reached my shoulder.

''What are you doing here all alone?'' A female voice asked. ''My name is Sarah, by the way.''

''James.'' I mumbled, drinking the entire glass. ''I've lost someone, or I'm losing.''

''Woah, take it slow.'' She said caressing my arm. ''You wanna talk about it?''

''Why would you just talk to a drunk guy at a bar.'' I chuckled.

''Because I may help you.'' She replied. ''I can make you forget everything.''

''Well he got to go, sorry miss.'' Michael appeared and forced me to get up. He paid for me and dragged me out the place. ''Can you tell me what the fuck were you doing?''

''I told you I'd be going crazy waiting for the news.'' I replied bitterly.

''You're drunk, you idiot.'' He sighed and helped me walking. ''Let's have a quick walk, I've asked and they can't tell anything yet.''

''Stop.'' I mumbled and sat over a bench, running my hands through my hair and face.

''Come on, man.'' Michael whispered and sat again next to me.

''I'm afraid.'' I cried. ''This is tearing me apart and there's so much pain.'' I cried out this time, repeating her last words.

''She'll be with you soon.'' He said trying to confort me. ''Do you want me to drive you home or do we go to the hospital?''

''Hospital.'' I sobbed. ''She took her away from me.''

''Let me take care of that.'' He said as we walked into the building. I sat where I was desolated, drowning with my own tears. ''Take this.'' Michael said, giving me some water to be sober again.