All of my relationships and friendships broke apart only when my sadness spoke to them. There were times I wanted to jump out of my life, out of my skin, but the weirdest part was that I never felt the urge to 'do it'. How do you sleep when you have those things running through your mind?
In some ways if we could read each other's mind, we'd be in tears probably.
The fact is that sometimes we try until we die and we don't get anything back for it... But we still want what we can't have.
Nevermind.
''Oh well.'' He looked colder as he paused. ''I thought it was clear, that it was fine between us.''
''And it is, I'm not saying it isn't, you know.'' I sighed in a lower voice. The room was silent, and the only thing I could do if I wanted it to stop, was let it all go. ''James, look... I like you, the same I said last night if I remember well.'' I paused. ''The thing is that I do not see myself as good as you think I am, I hate being alone but I'm scared to get closer. Just imagine that you get bored of me, which is completely normal, but just imagine it.'' I finally said. I felt free when I answered.
He nodded lightly with his both eyebrows raised. ''What if I don't? I know how you feel now, and even if I don't know how, I try to understand it.''
''Touché. Maybe you are right.'' I simply said again. ''Anyway, do you want to do anything today?'' I asked.
He chuckled a little, getting up. ''I'd like to, but I have to go and talk with the director about work, you know.'' He said while he rolled his eyes.
''Oh, I understand.'' I mumbled. ''Do you want me to drive you home or do you want to go by yourself?''
''If you don't mind, please.'' He laughed again, but he stopped when he saw my face. ''Come on, snap out of it.'' He said shaking my shoulders.
''I'm trying to, right? That's a lot.'' I giggled hugging him tightly.
''Then I'm glad.'' He kissed my forehead. ''Can we go now? I just have like... Thirty minutes to go.''
''Right, pick up your stuff and wait for me in the car, I won't be late.'' I nodded and I was back two minutes after, but something was wrong in my mind.
''You okay?'' James asked me when he saw my face.
''What?'' I mumbled. ''Yeah, just some stuff, you know.'' I tried to smile.
''Well... Okay.''
But it wasn't okay. I wasn't okay and it wasn't alright just because the ghosts always come back to the place they belonged once.
-
''Call you later?'' James looked at me with a suspicious look on his face. ''Victoria, are you sure that you're fine?''
''Yes and yes, but I just need some rest... You know.'' I sighed.
''Go home and get some sleep. I'll see you later.'' He simply said and kissed me softly.
And the hours passed, but I felt like shit and didn't notice the multiple missed calls from James.
YOU ARE READING
Summertime Sadness (James McAvoy fanfiction)
Fanfiction[Completed] ''You can't break my spirit, it's my dreams you take.''
