Dreaming About Him Ever Since

Chapter 31

Where are they? Is my first thought when I woke up this morning. Thankfully, I found Valarie and Riley sound asleep in their bed.

Relieved, I walked to the kitchen and poured myself as glass of orange juice, shivering from the cold.

Ugh i'm going to be so fat by the end of this trip.

Looking around the kitchen I notice the front door was open. I roll my eyes and shut it before turning on the heater.

"You should save yourself for gelato," A morning voice interrupts me. Inside, my heart skips a beat but I contain how frightened I really am and calmly turn to him.

"Are you implying i'm fat, West?"

"Nah, merely implying that you'll have a lot to eat today." The asshole was lying on the couch, arms crossed and eyes closed.

"Well you can begin to mind your own damn business. I liked you better when you didn't talk." Josh's eyes snap open and I scull the remnants of my juice and pour myself another glass as a way to defy him.

"Well I liked you better when your parents were alive." I give a short, bitter laugh. He sunk low.

"The feeling's mutual," I growl out. Josh leaps off the couch and is standing right in front of me so fast it takes my morning brain a while to process how close we were.

"I don't agree. I think you like this me a bit better than drunk me." His eyes were wild, darting between the two of mine.

"I liked it when you weren't an asshole," I say, taking a sip of my juice and leaning casually against the bench to put distance between us.

I'm not stepping down.

"When I was skinny and into booze and girls?"

"You're right, nothing's changed."

"I'm not an alcoholic," He growls. I put my glass of orange juice down on the bench.

"You never were," I counteract.

"You're right, you did the drinking for me." I was fuming, I bit my lip to refrain from something I would regret. I knew he was just as mad, his jaw was ticking.

"I had a problem and as my best friend, you did nothing to help me. You were an awful friend. You encouraged me to drink and party and defy my parents and brothers."

"Don't you fucking dare put the blame on me. I didn't force you to do anything!"

"No but you pressured me to do it! Do you know what it's like to feel like you weren't good enough? I was the best friend of the school's golden boy! I had pressures on me!"

"And me?!" He interrupts. "As the so called 'golden boy' don't you think I had pressures and expectations to live up to, too?!"

"You didn't need to live up to them, you were them! You set the standards!"

"For you! Trying to impress you!" He was so close to me now, leaning over me. My back was bent backward in an effort to distance myself.

"You didn't need to impress chubby, alcoholic me. You were my best friend and the one person I loved more than my brothers. You were my best friend and my crush at the same time. You had me wrapped around your finger... and you knew that!" I yell. "Don't you dare put the blame on me."

"How could I know that?" He mumbles, looking at my lips.

"What?" I ask him, barely hearing him.

"How could I know that? How could I know you like me?"

"Liked, Liked, Josh. You're different."

"Would you like me if I was the same?" I think.