Life's not out to get you |kellic]

{17}

Five hours before the big event and just no.

I couldn't perform on stage with Jesse. He raped me, and I was terrified of him. Whenever I saw him, all the memories just came flooding back of that night. We were in Mr. Carlile's classroom at the moment. He was teaching us our last segment, and then we were free to practice. I just couldn't believe the week went by so fast and that it was already the middle of August. I really didn't want to go back to Oregon, I really didn't want to say goodbye to Vic.

When Mr. Carlile dismissed us, I hesitated, before turning the doorknob the the practice room. I had a side conversation about dildos with Justin, and it made me laugh, but as soon as Jesse walked through that door, I panicked. My forehead developed a thing sheet of sweat, and my hands shook, when he walked past me. Keep it together, Kellin. I bit my lip. The only person I've told so far was Vic, because he figured it out. He urged me to tell other people, he really wanted me to, but could I do it?

As soon as the music started, I was just thrown off beat. I couldn't sing right, not after knowing Jesse was right behind me. Not knowing that Jesse physically abused me. Suddenly, Jack called it off and looked to me, "hey man, you alright?" he asked. Everyone was looking at me, and Jesse's eyes pierced me. It's like he was sending me some type of message through his body language.

I stayed silent for only a mere second, until I had blurted out, "he raped me. Jesse raped me."