Life's not out to get you |kellic]

{14}

Vic's face was soft, when he was sleeping. I liked it a lot, and he seemed so relaxed. He was on edge all the time-which I figured, was why he took so many drugs-but right now, it was nice. The faint shimmer of the early morning light glimmered through the glass and I got to see the orange-tinted sun in the distance of all the evergreen trees and the lake in which covered the land over there. His arms suddenly tightened, as he held my waist, and he shifted. I was facing him, and I saw that his eyelashes kept on fluttering against his cheeks. I gently tapped him, "sh, sh..." I spoke, as his eyes were beginning to open. I smiled faintly, "Vic calm down..." I muttered with a whisper.

He looked at me in a way that nobody else could, "You stayed."

I nodded my head smiling, "why wouldn't I?"

Vic shut his eyes, "everyone always leaves, I just thought..." he then opened his eyes, dark eyelashes still tapering up and down. He gazed at me, his eyes never leaving mine, "I really like you, a lot. And usually when something good like this happens to me, I just know something bad is gonna happen. And I don't want to loose you, we have...I don't know, but it's special." He said to me, and he said it passionately, too. I could tell he wasn't lying, he was serious. But why didn't he say he loved me? Sure, last night he told me he was 'learning' to love me, and now he said that he 'really liked' me, but what's wrong with the word love? Shaking away my insecurities, I sighed with an embarrassing chuckle. We both had our underwear on but apart from that, we had nothing else on.

I took away my arms from behind my head, "Oh god..."I whispered, careful not to wake Parker or Oli. I hid my face in the covers, "w-when you touched me...I've never been touched like that before, Vic. I've never even masturbated..." he laughed at me, "stop...i'm serious. That felt...you have amazing hands...I mean, no-what, I didn't mean-" Vic cut me off with a quick, firm, kiss. He held the small of my back and he moved a strand of my dark hair beneath my ear.

"So you think I have amazing hands?" he chuckled, "that's adorable, Kellin. I love it."

My cheeks burned and I had to look away form him, I was mortified and he made me feel things inside that was totally new and unknown, "I dunno'," I started as I closed my eyes, "the way you moved them..so angled..so...nice," I spoke, opening my eyes, "and the way you fucked me..." I bit my lip, my body suddenly going hot, as something dark flickered in his eyes, "it was so fast but at the same time captivating...If my body never got tired, i'd let you fuck me like that for hours..." I said.

His face wasn't blank, but he looked at me in lust, "so you liked that?" he asked, as he pulled me on top of him, my legs were at the sides of his waist and I was on top. I felt him up under me, and he was as hard as a rock. He smirked at me, moving his hips slightly so his shaft was still poking my ass, "If that doesn't turn you on, then i'll keep talking till something does." Vic said, his brown hair like a mop of waves at the sides of his neck. I gazed absently at his chest and I gently placed my pasty hands against them, biting my lips. I tuned out for a moment, as he kept grinding his lower half against my ass, his hard-on practically at the entrance of my bottom-side.

As soon as I was about to say something, though, he sat up a bit, pulling the covers down below where his waist was, "I don't-" but suddenly his eyes verted down at me, "Kellin, what's that?" he asked, suddenly frantic, pointing to me right leg. That threw me off, what was he talking about?

I shot him a look of confusion, following his finger, "what are you-" I gasped, my words getting caught in my chest. His rough fingers brushed against the self-inflicted scars that danced across the inner-part of my leg. They were all diagonal in the same direction, and seeing the look on his face honestly broke something inside of me that I didn't know was fixed. It's like he reacted, but not physically. He was dealing with this all in his head, but he wasn't speaking, he just kept touching my scars and looked at them in disbelief.

He then finally looked up at me, "you cut yourself?" he asked me. It was a simple question. Yes or no. But I knew that if i'd answered 'yes' he'd ask me why I did it. And I knew if I answered 'no', he would've gotten upset and called me a liar. Right now he just seemed really disappointed and let down. I then got up from on top of him, and sat right next to him, unsure of what to say. How do you tell a person that you love that you harmed yourself?

My eyes burned, my voice barely a whisper and coming out as the most silent whisper, "I-" my voice broke, as I peered down at the white covers, "it's.."

Vic brought his arms around me, smoothing my hair and he wiped my stray tears, "I don't like to cry, don't do that." I pulled away form him quickly, as I wiped my face.

"It's alright Kellin, it makes sense-"

I cut him off, suddenly getting angry, "what are you saying?"

He shrugged, trying to meet my eyes, "I'm just saying that considering your situation-"

I scoffed, shoving him, "jerk."

He shook his head, and when he tried to kiss me I backed away, "d-don't touch me." I said to him, my voice going up an octave, out of offense.

He cocked his head, his eyes wide and on the verge of tears, "Kellin, I was just trying to help-"

"Whatever." I said, with my voice laced with anger. I then got up and crawled out of the bed, grabbing my shirt and pants from the floor. I didn't know what I was feeling, but I had to leave. I couldn't have stayed there, not like this. He knows now, he probably thinks i'm some freak? I hate him. I then quickly threw on my shirt and tugged on my pants as I made my way to the front door. But suddenly, I felt a tug on my arm and I knew it was Vic.

I jerked away form his grasp, turning to him, "what?" I said sharply, my lips sort of trembling, "j-just leave me alone, okay?"

He didn't touch me, but it looked like he was restraining himself, and he shifted, "you're uh...you're just gonna leave me?" he asked, his voice sounding as if he were trying to hold it together, "you're not coming back?"

I blinked away my tears and looked at the floor, "i'm coming back, I just-" I broke off, and when I finally looked into his eyes, the tears just fell and I couldn't contain myself anymore. I bit my lip, and my heart ached when he took the sleeve of his jacket and wiped them away for me, "I just need some time alone, okay?" I told him, as I gripped the cabin door and stormed off.