Life's not out to get you |kellic]

{15}

"Kells? You alright?" his annoying voice asked me for the millionth time, it literally shocked me, too. I put down the microphone and turned to the ginger boy. I put on a fake smile, as I turned to Jesse. We were practicing for battle of the bands, our first performance being tonight. I felt bad for not speaking to Vic all day yesterday, but I just needed to get my thoughts together. It was Friday, the day of the 'battle of the bands' and I was far from nervous. I knew that I could sing, I knew that the band was pretty good and I got along with all the guys pretty well, it was just dealing with the fight that Vic and I had. The week was almost over, meaning we would all go back home. And it was near the end of August, which meant my birthday was coming up, meaning summer was almost over. I couldn't just go back home to Oregon now. I liked Texas. I felt way better here, and my Aunt and cousin Tay were much more nice and inviting than my homophobic parents and simple-minded thinking. So it wasn't just Vic that bothered me, it was everything all at once and I swear I was about to explode.

My voice was tight and I gritted my teeth, "can you just stop? Stop talking to me, stop touching me, we are never ever going to work. I have a boyfriend, his name Is Vic. We can't be friends, you're too clingy and you're annoying!" I blurted out, staring at him through the bathroom mirror. I had slipped away for two minutes and jogged back to our cabin, just to get some fresh air and honestly the fact that Jesse followed me was starting to creep me out.

He just stood there, his face full of shock. But it changed into something else, when he leaned against the wall. I grunted, "why are you still here?!" I shouted.

"Can't you see?" he told me after a while, "that guy is driving you crazy."

I rolled my eyes, "oh my god, just shut the fuck up, Jesse!" I screamed, "leave me alone. You don't know shit about what's going on in my life and I don't want you in it. So just leave. Please." I told him. But my eyes went to fear when he stepped inside of the small bathroom and locked the door behind him. I shook my head, he wasn't going to do what I think he was going to do, no. Jesse just kept on staring at me with wide eyes. With my heart beating so fast I was sure it was about to detonate, I backed up slowly away form him, but he got closer, eventually our faces inches apart form each other. His sweaty red face then got closer to mine, and before taking a deep breath, he forcefully kissed me. When I tried to pull away, Jesse squeezed my arm violently, making me whimper in pain. Toxic tears stained my cheeks and I wanted to run, but I was underneath him and wasn't going anywhere, he was too heavy.

I sobbed, "J-jesse, you don't have to do this," I mumbled, choking on my words. I tried to bargain with him, "I-I wont tell anyone and nobody ever has to know about this I swear this doesn't even-" But Jesse cut me off, when he slapped me. I wanted to bring my hand up to my cheek to feel the singe of his hard hand smacking against my skin, but I couldn't let loose, my arms were locked.

He laughed sardonically as he kissed my neck roughly, gripping my wrists, "haven't you noticed, Kellin? I'm in love with you." he mumbled, as he tugged at my hair. I shook my head, missing the kiss, and I struggled against him,

Gritting my teeth and looking at him in hatred I said, "y-you don't love me. You're in love with the idea of being with me-"

My words were cut off with another slap to the face and I started crying, I didn't know what to do, Jesse was going to rape me, all because I didn't like him back, "you know how hard it is to watch you with that asshole? To see you guys around the campsite kiss and laugh together? That should be me. I should be kissing you, I should be laughing and having fun with you. That all should be me!" he shouted, "Not him. I fucking hate him. You two do not belong together. You and I belong together."

I shook my head, "n-n-no, you're insane, Jesse, this isn't right-" my voice broke off, as I threw a random object at the window, and It cracked a little. But he just gripped my wrists, leaving purple bruises everywhere. Jesse tore away my clothing and I was exposed to him. He wasn't careful like Vic was, no. But he...he was rough and aggressive, he was nothing compared to Vic and I hated it. I missed him so much that it hurt.

Jesse started kissing my body all over, and I gasped and I hated everything about it. Soon, I had no choice but to do what he wanted me to do. My body started shaking in reaction as to what Jesse was doing to me. I cried so much that I couldn't cry anymore. It hurt. What's happening to me? I laid there lifelessly, as Jesse did those things to me. I kept on shouting 'no' and 'please no' but he wouldn't stop. It was too much. I felt disgusting and gross and like I had no control over what was happening to me. When he was done, with my body still shaking, he finished up, and pulled out of me. My lips were shaking and I stared up at him in fear. When he reached to wipe the tears away, I flinched, not wanting to see him ever again. I couldn't even make out any words.

He just leaned down and pecked my cheek, as I pulled my legs up to my chest out of terror, "see ya during practice." he smiled, and before leaving, he told me, "and if I even see you with that guy Vic? You better look forward to another one of these. Because we belong together, Kellin. I just knew it." he told me, and left.

I shook with torture and anxiety, I couldn't handle myself. I was so reckless, I felt like dying. I tried to listen to the patter of the wind against the broken glass to try and calm me down, but as I felt my skin? It was cold. The feeling and touch of dissapointment and depression lingered against the air.