Fixing Love

20

Dinner wasn't so bad. After some time, and a lot of glares from both Val and Jenny. The old man actually picked Nick up in his arms. I was so relieved when I saw him smile down at Nick. It made me feel better knowing he didn't hate my son. He may not be mine by blood, but he is still mine.

"Carter?" I looked up from dad playing with Nick. Everyone was busy watching them. Ethan was standing behind me with his fingers interlaced in front of him. "Can we talk?"

"Sure. Freddy, keep an eye on Nick okay?"

"You heard him people! The god father is in charge!" I couldn't miss the look of hurt on James' face. Me announcing Freddy as Nick's godfather really hurt him. But Freddy is the one who is helping me the most with Nick. And he has never once judged me for my mistakes. Plus, Nick really likes being with Freddy.

I followed Ethan to the backyard, and we sat down on the porch steps. The moon was bright tonight, giving the big yard a nice silver glow. I looked to my left, and saw the light making his gray eyes stand out more. He felt me staring, and turned to look at me. I saw so many honest emotions in his eyes. I could also see the tears that wanted to fall, but he was holding back.

"I can't apologize enough to you. This year apart, you spent it changing yourself, and for the better. I love the man you were before you left, but I also love the man you have become. I never would have thought you would take Nicholas in even though he is not yours. I feel like such an idiot for judging and acting as if you were his father before we even got the results. I think Nicholas is adorable, and I am happy you are giving him a good home." He was quiet for a moment, but I waited patiently. I know he needs to get this out, and so do I. "I won't blame you if you don't wish to see me anymore. I lied, and went behind your back with Adam. We needed more people to work in the office, and Adam is a skilled worker. I know I should have found someone else, but we really needed the help. Anyway. I messed up, big time. I won't ask for you to forgive me, I know I don't deserve it." I saw a tear escape his eye, and slide down until it landed on his hand. I noticed a silver chain hidden behind his shirt. Curiosity got the better of me, so I reached out and gently pulled it out.

"Ethan." Hanging from the chain, was my wedding ring. I looked on the inside, and saw our initials written there. I slowly pulled the chain off from around his neck, and noticed him staring at me while I looked at the ring. I held it close, and remembered my vows to him. "And if there are days where I might forget, I want you to remember that's just me being the idiot that I am." I turned to look at him, and saw the tears freely sliding down his cheeks at this point.

"I couldn't imagine a life without you in it. You're my everything Carter, and if we ever fight I want you to remember how important you are to me, I love you." I felt my chest tighten as he spoke his vows to me. We vowed that day to love each other till death do us part. But we let other people get between us. I did something that I have been dying to do for a long time now. I grabbed his hand, and pulled him to me. I had him sit on me, until he was straddling my lap comfortably. "Carter?"

"Ethan I still love you. I know that neither of us has been the best husband, but I never stopped loving you. Seeing Adam there, with you ,and our family. I lost it, I'm sorry. But I know I have hurt you just as bad. And I'm sorry too." What he did next shocked me. He grabbed my face in both of his. And that warmth that I have come to love so much, just flowed throughout my body. I found myself leaning into his touch, and closing my eyes. I felt his warm lips connect with mine. And before he had a chance to pull away, I grabbed the back of his neck, and held him in place. I poured all of the sorrow, love, pain, regret, and need for him into that one kiss. I licked his bottom lip, and he allowed me access into his sweet mint flavored mouth. Once we did pull away, we were both out of breath from it. His cheeks took on that cute rose pink I love on him.

"Wow." I smiled at his happily shocked face. He kissed me once more before laying his head on my shoulder. I think I grew again.

"I still love you Ethan, I never stopped." I felt his tears hit my shoulder, and smiled as he held me closer.

"I love you Carter." We remained like that for a while, before the front door burst opened. We jumped, and looked up to see Freddy standing at the door with a worried look on his face.

"Freddy, what's wrong?" I was instantly up on my feet with Ethan at the sight of that face.

"Nick." That was all it took for me to run inside like a madman. I burst into the front room, and saw everyone arguing.

"What is going on?!" They all shut up once they saw me. I moved passed them and looked down at my son. I then looked at each of my loved ones faces, with a complete blank expression. "Are you all kidding me? Even you Val?"

"I'm sorry." She just gave me a sheepish grin, and shrugged her shoulders. I picked my son off his blanket, and was hit with a strong and powerful smell. He looked up at me, and I saw tears in his eyes. He hates having a full diaper, because it gives him a mean diaper rash. I kiss his head, and hold him closer to me. Instantly a smile graces his adorable face. 

"Come on son, let's get you ready for bed." I walked to my room, and quickly took the diaper off of him, and wiped his bottom. I gave him a quick bath before changing him into his bedtime onesie. It had a small yellow moon, with a nightcap on it. I wrapped him up in a blanket, and put him in his crib. I made sure to turn the baby monitor on and grab the extra one as I walked out the room. I walked back to the living room, and saw my family still waiting.

"Is he sleeping?" I smiled at Ethan and nodded my head.

"Carter." I looked to my dad, and watched as he walked towards me. He looked at me for a while, before shocking me by pulling me into his arms. "I'm sorry son." I didn't hesitate to wrap my arms around him. He was shorter than me now too. I remember always having to either look up, or directly into his eyes.

"Dad, you have nothing to be sorry about. I acted without thinking, that is my mistake." He pulled back, but held me by the shoulders.

"No." He shook his head, and looked at me dead in my eyes. "I was mad, because I thought you were turning your back on me and this family. But I should have tried and seen it from your perspective. I don't mind that you changed your last name, because you changed it to your mother's. As far as I see it. That just makes you closer to your mother in my eyes." I pulled my old man for another hug, and didn't care that my eyes were stinging from the unshed tears in them. I haven't cried in a long time.

"It's getting late. I'm sure Carter and Freddy would like to go to bed now." We all turned to Freddy, who was knocked out on the recliner. I don't blame him. He's been helping me these last few days, he is only bound to be this tired.

"Yeah, I'm gonna have to drag him to his room again." They all laughed before saying their good nights or goodbyes. I kissed Ethan goodnight, and told him I would call him. I then looked up to see James walking out the house with Jenny and Marcus. Before he could get all the way out, I grabbed his hand. He looked at me shocked for a moment, but didn't say anything. "James. I was wondering if you wanted to hit the gym with me tomorrow? It's been awhile since I've gone and lifted some weights, you down?" I know he wanted to smile wide, his lips twitched.

"Yeah, definitely. What time?" I smiled when he couldn't hold back his own. I heard that he hasn't been the same since I left, and even more after our little talk. 

"Around noon. I wanna spend some time with my son, and Freddy is going to have a play day with him, so I'll come and pick you up."

"Sure thing." With that they all left, and I carried a tired Freddy to his room on my shoulder. He's a little heavier than Ethan, but not by much. I then head to my room, and look at my son sound asleep. I smiled down at my little Nicholas. I kiss his forehead, and smile when I see him lean his head closer to me.

"I love you my little miracle. You must be magic, to got my old man to forgive me. I'm working things out with my husband, so that hopefully you will have two daddies to look after you. Thank you son." With that, I stripped out of my clothes, and decided to sleep in just my boxers. I look at my arm, and see the corner of my tattoo. So much has happened, and I know that it is slowly getting worked out. I just want to finish all this drama so that I can give my son a peaceful and happy life, and I'm gonna make sure that it happens. No matter what.