Fixing Love

1

"Yo, Carter. Hey man wake up, you got another one." I woke up from my nap, and saw I had another car that needed to be worked on. Getting up I stretch until I hear my bones pop.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm coming." I hoped off from my spot on the back shelves where we keep all the different tires. The back area is big and dark, perfect place to lay down and grab a cat nap. "Okay, what do we got?"

"Ford Taurus. Thing just busted down on her, all yours man." I took the keys to the car from him, and started it up. I could hear a scrapping sound and nodded my head, already having an idea of what the problem could be.

"Alright, let's do this." I rolled up my sleeves and got to work.

*****************

"Alright boys, quitting time!" I finished washing the oil off my hands, and started making my way towards my car. But before I could get in I hear someone shout out my name.

"Yo Carter, man wait up!" I looked behind me and saw Freddy heading my way. Freddy's a pretty cool guy. I met him when I first got here at a local bar. Like the social guy that he is, he started talking to me and learned that I was looking for a job. He introduced me to our boss, and helped me get a job.

"Sup?" I shut my door, and  watched as he leaned on the side of my car.

"Me and the guys were gonna grab a beer. You down?" I thought it over, but decided not to.

"Not today, I'm freaking tired. Gonna head home and get some sleep." He said it was fine, and started heading towards the others. I waited until they left, then hopped in my car. The drive home was long, but it always gives me time to think about everything. "A year." I say out loud. I've been gone for a whole year. I wonder if they even care anymore.

After a while I pulled up to my drive way, and opened the garage. My house isn't a mansion this time, but a simple two bedroom house. I bought it a few days after I decided to move here. Because I'm always working, and I don't really spend much, I still have a lot of money after buying it. I place my keys on my table, and head to my room. I take of my dirty work clothes off, and put them in the laundry basket. I sit on my bed, only wearing my black boxer. I can see my reflection in my mirror facing my bed. I am a lot bigger now, muscle wise. Working as a mechanic will do that to you. I also have a tattoo on my right shoulder, covering part of my right peck, and working it way to my right shoulder blade. My hair is shorter too, and my skin is tanner from being out in the sun at times. I look different, I feel different.

"I'm tired." I grab a quick shower after a few seconds, and dry myself off before heading to bed. I'm too tired to worry about clothes, so I sleep in the nude. As always, my dreams are all about Ethan. I can still see his smile, his eyes, the tears. His image so clear in my mind, he might as well be standing right in front of me.

I can't help but wonder if he's happy, if he's moved on. Legally he is still my husband, but I decided to set him free. If he wants to see other people, that's fine. Me personally, I swore off love. I don't go on dates, and I gave up my old ways. I don't really socialize anymore. Freddy and the others try to get me to, but I always shut them down. I didn't feel like I deserved it, not yet.

I also finished my first year of online school too. I decided to continue studying, might as well finish. It's not as bad as I thought. I guess business runs in my blood. I decided to take what I learn, and try and open up my own business. I guess James' dream did become mine as well. "James." That was another person that wouldn't leave my thoughts. Is he okay? I feel like shit for what happened between us. I never realized he was gay, or that he had feelings like that for me. I guess the signs have always been there, but I was to blind to notice them. To notice him. I wonder if he hates me now too. Or if I am even in his thoughts at all.

I turn my head and stare out at the full moon outside my window, watching the dark clouds passing in front of it. I am far from where I used to call home, but that's fine. I needed a fresh start, away from all the drama from my past. I even changed my last name. I took my mother's name, so I am no longer Carter McClain-Kingman. I am now Carter Breeze. Strange, but I like it. A simple name, for a new and simple life.