YouTube Gamer One-Shots

To An Untold Future

My Beloved, 

Funny how time can be, huh? One minute, you're getting your first taste of what life's really like, seeing all the beauty and wonder it can hold while being a young and kindred spirit. The next, you're tired and worn, not satisfied with life as yours is nearing its end. 

Time is a cruel and ruthless god, claiming memories and souls whenever it pleases and selfishly holding onto them forever. 

Thus why I am writing this to you. I feel as though this is something I've wanted to do for years, just never gotten around to it for fear of having to accept the harsh truths of reality. But I guess now is as good of a time as ever to do so, for as I continue to grow old and weary I won't be able to when my time's end calls me. 

How many years has it been since the two of us have been in any type of contact? How many ages has it been since I last felt your lips brush against mine, those same lips claiming your said to be 'undying' love for me? I myself cannot recall, though I'm sure if I could I wouldn't want to. It would only be a painful reminder of what once was, and what truly could have been. 

Even if I cannot recall much though, there is one memory in particular that will never leave my mind. It is one of which that will follow me to my grave, dying along with me to any of those unaware of its mere existence. 

The day you left.

Oh, how it's still fresh in my mind. I still remember all that had been said that dreadful day, all that had been done. All of the torturous damage and destruction done to our once beautiful relationship, now a broken memory in shambles and tears. I wish I did not remember that day. I wish I could remove the mere thought of it from me, cast it away for it to never return and haunt me again. 

But I cannot, for I am not strong enough to. 

It is my last clear memory of you, no matter how awful it can be to think of. Even if it would be best for me, I simply will not let go of it, because if I did that would also mean I would have to let go of you as well. For this, I am selfish. All in all, closure is what I need. But it is not what I want. 

You looked so beautiful that day, bright and radiant in a world that had once been so bleak and gray for me. I had never told you this, but you were the one thing in life I was ever fortunate enough to have. Now, I guess you are the one thing in life I was ever unfortunate enough to lose. 

I never meant to hurt you. No, that was the last thing I'd have ever wanted. You were, and still are, everything to me. To know that I had caused such a great pain to you, such a permanent internal scarring... it makes me sick to my very core. I wish I had never done what I had. Though, I suppose it is too late now to want to repent for my previous sins. 

I had always been awful with alcohol. It had never done any good for me throughout my days, though I was still foolish enough to pick up a bottle and think, what harm could be done? Enough. That was for certain. 

Of course, you yourself know all too well what commenced after you got home. A bright and happy hello coming from you as you entered through the door. A slurred response. Confusion, which led to yelling. Nonsense being spewed out left and right, words piercing the heart like needles, spat out so violently as to that of venom. A quick jerk of the hand, coming into contact with skin. Silence. Then crying, followed by more yelling. Glass breaking on the floor, the shards as dangerous as the words being said. A fight for control, resulting in blood and screaming. All of that horror commenced in such a short span of time, though it seemed like it would never end. 

It did. 

You got up, straightened yourself out. Looked me in the eyes, yours swollen and redder than I had ever seen them before. There was so much hurt in your gaze it was simply too much to bear. I tilted my gaze down and away from yours, and before I knew it you were gone. Nothing said, nothing taken, just... gone. 

You never came back. 

I waited for you endlessly, tried my very best to get you to come home. 

But you never did. 

Instead, after quite a while had passed since that night... you moved on. Found someone you deemed better than I, and you never dared to look back. 

I was crushed, my heart broke beyond any means of repair. You were the love of my life, and I had thought I was yours. Yet here you were, with someone else who could somehow make you as happy as I did. 

I never did move on from you. I never forgot what we once had, even as you did and went on to live the rest of your life. 

You got married, had children, and overall lived your life to what can only be thought of as the fullest. 

I... never did. 

All I could do was hope and pray that if I waited for you long enough, then maybe you would somehow come back to me. Everything would be fine once more, and the two of us would be together again. 

Though, that never did happen. 

My own life, wasted away on the hopes of having you back in it. 

So here I sit, writing this. Reminiscing on what I can about the two of us, remembering a past that was once so filled with hope, now what is the diminished beginnings of an untold future. 

There is still a part of me that hopes you will come back to me, even as times have changed along with us as persons. But I cannot be a fool no longer, stuck wishing on stars that have been dead for eons. This is how our story ends, more so how mine ends. You found a way to rewrite yours, while I stuck stubbornly to the beginning pages in hopes of them becoming a full novel. 

I just wish for you to know that no matter how our ends are met, no matter if you ever do happen upon this or not, I will never regret the time I had with you. It showed me what true good and happiness the world can offer, even if it did meet such a brutal and bitter end. 

With this being said, and my final breaths soon to be taken, you will always hold the key to my heart, whether aware of it or not. 

And for that... I am grateful. 

~From An Untold Future 

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So... it's been a while, huh?

This one shot isn't really based off of any specific ship, it's more of a venting one in a way?

I don't know, I just feel like it slightly represents how I've been feeling lately.

I've been going through a lot of tough times lately, and it's caused me to stop writing and stop being happy. 

I'm sorry for the lack of updates, and if I eventually sort everything out I'll start to try and update things normally. 

Anyways, that's all! I hope you enjoyed!

+++++++++Setin Out++++++++++