On Call

Chapter 9

Alex

I rolled around pulling a sheet over me, I felt a large hand on my stomach pulling me closer. I was pressed against Aaron's bare chest. He was afraid that something happened to me last night, he called me to make sure I was okay. He sounded so afraid I couldn't just leave him at the hospital last nights after hearing his voice shaking.

It just made me realize that I'd also be so broken if I were to lose him, I could only imagine how he felt.

I wanted to see him again too so I went to the hospital even against my better judgment. Our lust was so great that he had to rush home for privacy, I giggled at what he did with me. He mumbled something in his sleep and pressed me closer.

I swallowed hard and felt like each muscle in my body tightened. What have I done? Panic started rising in my gut, I felt nauseous.

I didn't think this through, I just acted on instinct. My breath started getting shallow, I felt like I couldn't breathe, a panic attack was starting to rear its ugly head. I needed to calm myself down before I have a full on panic attack.

I turned around so that I could rest my head against his bare chest. His scent was enticing, it was strong and oaky yet it was a little sweet too. I closed my eyes savoring the moment of intimacy and how great it feels to have his arm wrapped around me, his warmness making calmness settle in me.

A tear ran down my cheek, I let out a little sob. I tried to draw in a breath but I couldn't, it felt like lungs weren't working as panic and anxiety settled inside me.

I still had to get over my previous wreck of a relationship, the sham of love and a broken heart.

I stood up heading for the bathroom in a rush. I closed the door tightly. I slid down beside the bathtub and placed my head on my knees, I drew in a ragged breath, a few tears more slid down my cheek. Fear was grabbing a hold of me.

There suddenly was a knock on the door. Things were becoming hazy as I wheezed out.

"Alex? What's wrong?" His voice was soft.

I couldn't speak.

I didn't know if I was ready for a relationship again. I was deathly scared of falling in love again and my heart being broken again. Even if what happened last time was just an accident, it was inevitable.

The door opened with a swing, banging on the wall. Aaron rushed in, he kneeled down in front of me,  only clothed in his boxers.

"Oh my god Alex!" He pulled my hands from my knees making me look at him as I was wheezing. He looked at me panicked as I could feel my lungs constricting to the lack of air.

He swallowed hard.

"You're having a panic attack, okay you have to breathe for me." I tried but my chest tightened.

"You NEED to breathe!" He placed his big hands on either side of my face, forcing me to look at him. His deep blue eyes made my racing heart calm down, my muscles relaxed and I could take a breath, I took a deep breath.

Aaron released a breath and let go of my arms, sitting beside me and held onto my hand tightly. We sat in front of the bathtub, holding hands. He turned to me as tears kept rolling down my face, I haven't had an anxiety attack since Xavier's death.

"Why did you have a panic attack now?" He asked with a shaky breath.

"I...I woke up beside you and what we did, what was going to happen made it hard for me to breath."

He held onto my hand tightly.

"What were you thinking?"

"I was thinking about how our friendship isn't as simple now, how bad it will be for you if my family found out, how I'm not ready for a relationship again. I'm still broken." He turns away from me and stared out in front of him, not releasing his hand.