How to be your Boyfriend vol. 1&2 (On Hold)

Chapter 5 The Second Time Around

Soundtrack for this chapter: Make Some Noise by The Beastie Boys(click mulitmedia to listen)

“It looked like a piece of a fucking piece of soap but motherfuckers use this for fucking radiant skin yo motherfuckers need to look fucking good and I tell you, brotha, those bitches like to hang on this fucking radiant skin of yours if you buy this brotha’s soap.”

Ang talumpati ni Tyson habang nagbebenta sa akin ng kanyang sabon.

“This ain’t made of fucking chemicals. This is made of a fucking organic stuff.” Ipinakita niya sa akin ang sabon na kulay orange. “Made up of apricots, a lil bit of kiwis, a lil bit of tangerines and damn those motherfucking cashews and nuts that contain this fucking soap.”

“Cashews and nuts?”

“You hear me brotha! This ain’t just a soap, it’s a fucking soap for fucking radiant skin. Yo, brotha’s an asian? You actually have good skin, bro but to be able to make it more beautiful and glowing, brotha needs to use this fucking soap now. You are blessed with good fucking skin while others are freckled. They don’t need this soap, they need this fucking sunblock with a UV ray of 35.” Kinuha naman niya ang tinitinda niyang lotion. “Imma tellin’ you brotha, bitches gonna chase after you when you use this fucking soap then after a good hot bath, USING this fucking soap, you dab yo skin with this motherfucking lotion for a glowing and natural skin. This bitches here doesn’t need this bro. This thang are especially made for ma brotha’s. I ain’t no liar man! Feel ma skin!”

Ipinagmalaki niya ang kanyang radiant skin na hinipo ko naman at sumangayon naman ako.

“See, I told you brotha. I ain’t no liar. This soap works wonders for you and for every sons of bitches out there!”

“How much is it?”

“If you buy this at a fucking store, you’ll spend a lil more but when you buy this to ‘yo brotha, I will give you less dolla. Get this soap and don’t give me a holla. And damn, bitches everywhere will bang you in a lava!”

Nakuha ako ni Tyson sa kanyang rap kaya binili ko ang sabon at ang lotion. Akalain mong isang gangsta, cool at rapper, nagtitinda ng sabon at ng lotion.

“Thanks ma man! Yo cool man! Yo cool!” sabi niya sa akin at what a relief na natapos na ang kaingayan niya.

“Thomas! I need you at my office!” sigaw ni Mr. Fumble ng dumating siya sa opisina na mukhang si Neo sa The Matrix dahil sa shades at black coat niya.

Pumasok naman ako kaagad sa opisina niya.

“What happened?” tanong niya sa akin habang tinatanggal niya ang kanyang coat at isinabit sa may sabitan.

Wala siyang naalala sa ginawa niya nung sabado? Ano? Amnesia? Dementia? O kunya-kunyarian na walang alam?

Umupo siya sa kanyang table at tinanggal ang kanyang shades sabay kinuha ang kanyang salamin na nakatago sa drawer ng mesa. May maitim at nagkukulay ube siyang black eye sa kanyang kaliwang mata na siguro malaki ang tama nung Sabado dahil fresh pa rin siya hanggang ngayon.

Baka nga hindi ito nangyari nung sabado, malamang gumimik siya ulit kagabi at nainis sa kanyang yung bouncer kaya binigyan siya ng isang left hook. Sa tindi ng tama ni brod, parang bouncer ang nakadale sa kanya eh.

“I woke up yesterday and this thing is the first thing I saw in this morning.” Sabi niya.

“It’s a black eye sir.”

“Where the hell did I get this?” tanong niya sa sarili niya habang nagsasalamin. “Did you punch me?”

“No, Sir. You got into a fight on a dancefloor then we were forced to leave the bar after the chaos then you left me and drove away. I have to take a cab to get home then while I was about to get into my apartment, you called me. You were in jail. I bailed you out then you left me again.” Kwento ko sa kanya. “You were so wasted… Sir.”