POPSTAR (BEING REVAMPED)

Chapter 68

Caroline is already back home and honestly, it makes me feel more alone than ever, not only is my best friend gone, but so is my boyfriend and so is the random girl that somehow always follows us: Stephanie.

The wind and rain is still somehow mixing in between the L.A. heat and already wet palm trees.

I never thought I'd be in a place like this, and when I pictured my life being what Caroline and I has always wanted, it didn't look like this; me spread on the bed with hot tears from last night on my pillow and leftover food covering the small coffee table somewhere in the corner.

A must have cleaned the room because everything is spotless and the clothes that I had lined by the bathroom door are now tucked away neatly into a 'lazy laundry' bag.

I decide to not turn on the news this time and instead get a cab to Jayden's house. I know I told him I wouldn't need anything but I miss him and I know he wouldn't mind, which my subconscious tells me is dumb, but I push it away.

Tucking away some of my clothes, and slipping into short biker shorts and a basic white top, I make my way out of the hotel room, double checkign with the reception that the taxi is already waiting, which has informed me that there are a couple of men with large cameras, hoping to spot someone.

I make a mental note that I want to get a small hotel with Jayden somewhere; somewhere no one can see with curtains that reflect the sunlight and a window that lets us hear the rain all night while we make out non-stop.

I pish my sunglasses to my nose and head out with a mini bag on my shoulder.

The sunny weather immediately warms up my entire body and I feel refreshed in a weird way although I'm only used to the Iowa cold-hot weather.

The taxi driver pushes the door open as cameras begin to click and men begin to shout but I manage a quick entrance with the door shutting right behind me.

I pull out my phone and without speaking to the driver, hand him the address, he takes a quick look and then just say s'no problem' and continues to drive.

As I pull my phone back toward me, I stop.

It feels bizarre that I didn't even bother speaking to him. this is hoe celebrities must feel. Oh god my mother would be so disappointed.

I check my phone for any messages from Jayden but he still seems busy with only a 'I miss you babe' sent at 5 am.

AS I ARRIVE TOWARD JAYDEN'S DOORSTEP, it's free of any paparazzi since his lawsuit with them being on his owned property and interrupting the neighbours around.

I bite my lip as I dig under the mat to find no key, I check the bushes for the heck of it and then underneath the flower pot which still remains empty, but as I scan for an open window, I spot something in between the large green plant by the door; they key. BINGO.

Twisting and turning it in the keyhole, I finally manage to open the door and my eyes go wide at the success.

As I tread inside, I slip my shoes off and turn the lock to lock myself inside, it's a freakishly big house and It's making me nervous not ony being here all alone, but that Jayden doesn't know yet. I text him a quick 'I went to your house, hope that's ok?' as the weight of guilt hits my shoulders and then open up the fridge, grabbing two slices of bread, heating them up, putting mayonnaise, cucumber and lettuce on top until I slide down to the floor and bawl my eyes out.

"IT'S ONLY BEEN A COUPLE OF DAYS!" I practically sob the last of my tears into the phone with Caroline on the other end.

"I literally cried over a sandwich,"

"No you cried over breaking into Jayden's home and having that guilt on you when he's gone and your emotions over that too," Caroline says and I just stop. She's right, she's so totally right but it's just

"It's just hard and I miss you," I admit as I eat the last of my sandwich. Everything feels so lonely, my friend is gone, Jayden is gone and my mom hates me and I hate her and my dad won't be home for a few months, I'm totally and utterly alone.

"I wish I could be there," hearing Caroline say really eases my emotions. 

"Show me everything," she tells me and I turn the camera on, my eyes a little puffy but I immediately turn the camera to the other side and start walking around the room. 

I show Caroline the kitchen she's never seen and she gasps, her eyes wide, "that is a perfect kitchen."

"I know," I nod.

I slowly tread into the large bathroom, larger living room and show her the hallway all of which Caroline seems jealous of.

"Does a teenage boy even need this?"

"He's not a teenager," I quickly correct and we laugh. I missed this.

"Let's agree to disagree," I chuckle as I show Caroline some cabinets, opening a drawer in Jayden's room.

"Um, what's that?" I pick up the item as Caroline's voice trails, I barely even realized I was opening things let alone in Jayden's bedroom. Now I feel even worse.

I scroll down the item in my hand to reveal a red lipstick.

"I'm sure it's just from his friends, he has a ton of friends, plus we only recently started dating.

"You know what, Maria? I'm sure it is, there's nothing for you to worry about, he's a good guy and I'm even starting to like him, okay?"

"Yeah, I nod," with a smile. The lipstick looks pretty new though almost as if it's not used.

I dig further into the drawer to find a note 'I know Caroline likes red, here's one of the better ones I could find.' - Jayden

"See? Told you!" Caroline squeaks loudly and I force a smile because the letter isn't even wrapped and neither was the lipstick but with all the kind gestures Jayden has done already, I know there should be nothing more to it, but yet, something feels off.