POPSTAR (BEING REVAMPED)

Chapter 36

(Play selena gomez good for you)

The way his strong hands held me as if I was a delicate glass sculpture and the way that they pulled me in, the way I was able to be so close to him. The way I could smell the mixture of his cologne and body heat and the way I could feel his muscles and see the way his tattoos clung so perfectly to his body.

I open my eyes and trace the airplane window with my long finger, watching the clouds below me. I need to make it home before eight am, before my mothers gets ready for work, but I can't seem to think about that right now.

Somehow I still can't believe our night is over and that I'm back on a plane home. I always feel as though no time with him is enough. I can't get enough.

"Can I get you anything?" the kind air hostess asks but I shake my head with a soft smile, watching her walk away.

I haven't been able to eat since the flight began, and I know I have at least two more hours to spend here, but I can't bring myself to even think about food. Is love supposed to feel this way? Oh god, do I love him?

My mind has completely betrayed me and is now talking about things I didn't even know were true, but the more I think of him the less I can deny any of it. 

The plane window is cold on my finger, and I don't keep it there for long. My forehead rests there automatically and despite it feeling like ice, I don't want to move.

There's something about being so close to Jayden. It's one thing to read about him, see him from a distance, but to be so close to him, to feel his hands on you, to see his tattoos up-close, so up-close that I can smell him, trace his tattoos and be inside his eyes.

It feels like I dream I can't escape, and suddenly I realize that this fairytale is coming to an end. Not only do I have to somehow sneak back home, but I also need to somehow function knowing that Jayden exists and that I need him more than I need water and air.

WHEN THE TAXI DRAVER pulls up to my house I feel a lump in my throat. I don't want to be here, this isn't my life anymore.

And when my eyes accidentally catch a glimpse of what time it is, my eyes go wide. Oh no, oh no no no no no. This can't be happening.

It's not eight am anymore. it's almost ten am and when I open the black car door, touching the black paint to close it, I see my mother exit the house. The look on her face is something I know I'll have etched in my mind and she's holding the latest magazine; the latest on Jayden and me.

The private TAXI drives off and I feel more alone than I ever have in my life. She's holding my phone and her lips are sealed, her eyes are death and her whole face is crafted like stone.

"Is this true?!" She finally yells and even though I can't fully see them, I feel eyes on me from neighbours walking past our house and I feel like I'm in hell. Shivers run through me and then suddenly, I feel nothing but heat in my body.

I hear a car behind me but I can't think about it, or about the fact that I hear a dog barking somewhere and neighbours chatting around me. All I can hear is my mother screaming and shouting at me.

"Maria answer me! is this true? Were you with him last night? Is this why your acting like a crazy gringa?!"

My mother walks down the few stairs that lead to the outside of the house and by now the front door has closed shut and she's looking directly at me. 

My mother walks closer toward me but I don't have an answer. I hear a car door shut behind me but I can't focus on it and neither can my mother.

"Answer me!"

"I--" I can't.

"I'll explain," I hear behind me and I instantly turn around, my face in horror and my hair spinning around me only to see the most beautiful brown eyes I've ever seen; Jayden.