POPSTAR (BEING REVAMPED)

Chapter 27

The nature breathes life into me although the trees aren't exactly blossomed into green, I know that this is Iowa Spring and I'm in love with it like I have been since my parents brought me here at five from Mexico in search of a better life.

My white headphones are stuck in my ears, the white chord lying on my chest as it bounces with the rhythm of my running. My lips part and I can't help myself from singing, feeling the rhythm and the beat behind what makes a song so beautiful and complete.

I don't have any songs that repeat over in my head so instead of having a playlist I've created on, I allow the radio to play its best hits and of course, the next song is Jayden's song; the one he played on stage.

I close my eyes and let my feet guide me, my lips part again and this time with much more passion, with all of the feelings Jayden has given me, the butterflies, and the ways he makes me feel like the only girl in the world.

My breath has gotten heavy but I haven't been feeling the cold for half an hour now, I've gotten used to the heat my body is terminating from the amount of running I've done.

I take a few more deep breaths, letting my ponytail bounce up and down as I make my way further into the forest, the trees becoming now less and less of a surrounding, allowing more rocks and landscape to be seen.

"Baby you've got me locked down, and I'm, oh baby, I'm yo-ho-ho-yours and you've got me just so caught up in it, oh yeah, yeah, na-na-na-naaahaooh" I sing, my eyes closed, and my voice the only thing I'm focusing on, this is how I feel truly alive. The way Jayden's voice sounds is like heaven and each tone is better than the first.

"You probably should have been the one to sing this song, not me," I hear so clearly, as if there isn't a song playing in my ears, as if my voice is inaudible and no sound exists except for that voice. I turn around abruptly, my body tensing up.

"J-Jayden?" my eyes finally send the right cells into my brain and I realize exactly just who I'm staring at.

"You're not--"But he finishes for me, "supposed to be here?" he smiles, approaching closer, his eyes on mine while he only lets a split second go between him staring at my running clothes that I didn't think anyone would see me in.

His eyes return back to mine and he smiles, "I know,"

"Then why . .. are you here, Jayden, someone might . . . recognize you," I say, realizing that he isn't just some local talent, he's a global sensation, one that just by posting a photo of me on social media has gained me more followers and likes than I can comprehend.

"I need to see you, talk to you, Maria . . . you aren't just some girl to me." he runs his hand through his tousled hair and his eyes are as brown as ever.

he steps closer and I find myself not moving, not stepping forward but not stepping back. I learned a lot yesterday from reading everything I could get my hands on about him but I know there's still so much more to discover but I haven't been able to answer the one question I need; do I want to discover more?

I let out a small breath as I watch him, but he's here. Here right in front of me, I'm not meeting him at a concert or at his L.A.æ birthday party, he's just here, so unbusy, so . . . normal.

"I know we have a three-year difference--"

"You could be my younger brother--" I blurt out before coming to a halt with my words. It's harder than you could imagine to think straight with Jayden right in front of me.

My sports clothes hand tightly onto my body especially now that I'm slightly sweaty, and as I hold one headphone in my hand and let the other stay in my ear, I allow myself to reminisce in just how normal I can be right now with him, just how normal both of us can feel.

"But I'm not . . . your brother." He says, his lips slightly puffy and parted, a small birthmark on the side of his face that I notice. It's amazing how many things I can see when it's just us, in this up-close and hidden environment.

"I know, Jayden, but it feels like it, I--I never thought I'd find someone so young, it doesn't seem right to me." I stare at the ground, avoiding his eyes, it feels odd to say this to him, especially with how I really feel about him, but just turning seventeen in a week is a bigger deal than it seems.

"Technically you're still a kid," I say and he presses his tongue on his lips as if he's annoyed at my words.

"That's what you think too?" he huffs a big breath, "You know that's all that Andrew tells me."

"You know I've been treated like a child my whole freaking life, even though I've got more things going for me than most thirty-year-olds, I've got my future mapped out, I've got more money than I know what to do with, and for the first time ever, I think I finally know exactly what I want, so just let me show you how I'll treat you," he says and almost instantly, his soft hand presses the back of my head as our lips collide, butterflies bouncing on my stomach as if there's a trampoline down there somewhere.

His kiss doesn't last very long because he draws himself back and licks his lips, his eyes narrowing to mine.

I gulp down, my skinny body feeling all shaken up and my ponytail much looser from his fingers allowing themselves to play into my hair.

"Jayden," I begin but I don't know what to say, somehow I thought that saying his name would convey to him exactly how I feel, because it's something I can't describe with words, but when I look into his eyes, I know that that has failed completely.

"You wouldn't date someone that's thirteen going on fourteen," I try and he parts his lips, "I would if I felt about them the way I do about you." My heart drops and the butterflies that I thought had settled are now flapping their powerful blue wings.

What does he feel about me? Because I don't know what I'm feeling for him, all I know is that it's strong, and something I know I can't let go off, no matter how much my rational mind tries to.

I bite my lips and at the same time, biting the words back that my brain wants to say to Jayden, but I can't think with my brain. Because my brain has only done harm to me, I'm studying what I don't want to study, I dated Griffin who is now heartbroken because I thought it would be the logical next step, and I'm slowly giving up music to be in college, get a job and have occasional music lessons with Mr. Jerk like my mother has always wanted for me.

I still feel as though my real life has barely started, considering that as a child, I didn't think about life in this way, and only after starting college did I really think of life with all it's imperfections.

"You've always wanted to be a singer, haven't you?" he says and I nod, "Then what's stopping you?" he reaches out his hand to me and my heart starts to flutter.

"I'm not here to use you, Jayden," I say, my lips tangled in my lips and I don't know if I'm smiling or trying to form another sentence.

"I know that, but I can make that happen, and even if you want nothing to do with me, just . . . just at least let this be something I'll do for you, no expectations no catch, nothing," he says and his eyes look into mine, they look so genuine and so soft brown that I almost want to melt in front of him.

His hand is still reached out to mine and as I look at it, I nod a soft nod and place my hand in his, allowing the butterflies to play with me all over again.

"Okay," I speak.