POPSTAR (BEING REVAMPED)

Chapter 42

After the spilled soup is cleaned up and by cleaned up I mean I used my dad's expensive hard floor cleaner, we finally ordered pizza and gave up on the soup. 

Caroline distributed the snacks on my dad's small coffee table and as we cuddled up in the couch, the movie started playing; something we actually wanted to pay attention to. And yet somehow all we wanted to do was eat and talk.

"Hold on," I speak and quickly run up the stairs to the bathroom, grabbing two masks for us. 

I sit down cross legend in the soft couch with Caroline now facing me, the volume of the TV is turned down and I can't help but just want to catch up with her.

"So how is Tiffany? how is everything?" I ask and Caroline raises a brow.

"Honestly she's been wanting to hangout a lot but I told my mom that she's not really my type."

"She really isn't, is that mean?" I laugh and Caroline laughs back "Only a little."

"So how is Jayden, tell me all about him!" Caroline squeals and adds, "the whole school is talking about you two, it's getting wild out there."

"I know," I look down at my fingers. it really has been crazy, I just can't really comprehend what that fully means.

"Do you think Jayden is a good idea though? He's beyond famous and your life will never be the same, I hop you know what you're getting into--" I stop her with a 'come on' look.

"I know, I know, I just want to make sure you'll be okay," Caroline speaks again and this time I smile at her.

"I'll be more than okay." I place my hand on hers and she smiles, trusting me the way I trust myself.

WHEN THE PIZZA DOESN'T ARRIVE we climb into the Range Rover that Caroline is planning on buying from her parents. And as we start the car, I take my time to enjoy the large and wide seats that somehow make me feel as though the worries of life don't exist in this moment.

Caroline puts on light music and of course it's Jayden playing, it's something I never noticed before but everywhere I go, his music is playing. 

Caroline turns into the only road I wanted to avoid; the street my mother lives on.

I peek into the windows with a yellow lighting on and spot a shadow seemingly cleaning out my bedroom.

"Stop!" I practically scream and Caroline slams on the breaks causing us both to almost jump out of the window, but our seatbelts forcing us to painfully stick to the seat.

"She's cleaning out my room!" I tell Caroline while staring out the car window.

I open the car door as Caroline watches in shock unsure of what to do, but I can't stay, I can't just sit here, watching my mother unpack and clean out my entire room.

I hear Caroline saying something right before I slam the door shut and run across the street. My mother has no idea that I'm watching her but I'm about to ruin her evening.

As soon as I get to the top floor, I almost open the door in absolute anger but realize it's going to be locked. It's late and even if it weren't my mother never leaves the door open.

I cover the peephole and begin to knock only to hear a vacuum stop and footsteps stomping toward the door. I take a deep breath and brace myself for all the yelling I'm about to do, but when the door opens and I'm greeted with Rob, I swallow all of that screaming instantly.

What is he doing here?

"What--" I stop, my brown eyes just simply staring at the man in front of me. He looks silly, silly Robert. He has  glasses that are slightly too big for him and his tie is loose. He's clearly helping my mother with something because I know he'd never be the one up to this.

"I'm sorry," he rubs his forehead.

"Your mother--she wanted to clean things up, I though . . . she said you moved out and weren't coming back," Robert explains and my heart shatters. What would make her think I wouldn't come back? and then the anger starts to boil inside of me.

"Well, she was right, I'm not." I step inside, my blood boiling, how could I get stuck with such a hopeless mother.

"She'll be back any minute now if you want to talk to her."

"And where is she? Hiding from the turmoil she's caused her whole family? Buying paint? what is it?!" I ask, shouting now. I don't care what Robert thinks of me, he's some stupid work colleague who shouldn't even be in my house--her house.

"The latter," he speaks and my eyes start to water, but I quickly blink them away.

I feel weak in my body, I can't believe my own mother would completely erase me from her life like this, completely abandon the idea of me ever coming back and completely cleaning out any evidence that I ever did.

"I'm just going to grab a few things and I'm . . . then I'm leaving," the tears in my eyes speak for me but I turn away before Robert sees too much of the tears I'm holding behind.

I grab what I can of my clothes before it'll all be packed away and tossed out. As I walk through my empty room, I spot a picture frame of me, my mom and my dad staring at me. It's the same frame I've kept in my room for years but now I realize I don't need it whole anymore.

I grab the picture out of the frame and rip my mother out, letting her picture drop to the floor. My dad is the only person who cares and I'll stay with him until I figure everything out.

WHEN I GET BACK INTO THE CAR, Caroline sees my red eyes but instead of asking em about it, she just hugs me.

"Everything will be okay, I promise." she hugs me and I believe every word she says, she's always so right and she's always there to protect me from the bad things life has thrown at me.

"I don't want this life anymore, my mother, college, singing lessons, I just . . . I want to be free from all of this crap," I sob, covering my eyes with both of my skinny hands. My body has always felt fragile to some degree but now, the weakness of what my mother erasing me and the sobbing I've been doing for the past twenty-minutes has made my body and especially hands feel so cold. 

"I just want my life to change, I want to be different . . ." I sob and sniffle. Caroline hands me some tissues that she found in the glove box and tries her best to smile at me.

"This is your chance," she says, looking down and then back up at me.

"This is your turning point, you can do whatever you want. You've already quit singing lessons. You just have to know what's next."

"Let's get our pizza and go to Target," I say and Caroline nods with a smile as excited as mine for this new plan that I have no idea what to do with.

I put my seatbelt on and watch Caroline drive away from the now dark room in what used to be mine. the seatbelts feel oddly comforting and I'm glad I can hide away somewhere I feel safe.

I don't know what the future hold, but I know that everything I thought was tying me down from what I really wanted is about to disappear one by one.