If my legs give up -Aiden

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+Angst/no comfort

+Angst without comfort yet—comfort?



Adrenaline is a funny thing,


Aiden knew this.


In fact he lived by this,

Aiden was purely built on adrenaline.


maybe not all things could be considered thrilling.


Aiden's P.O.V


Jesus fucking Christ.


I don't even know how I ended up in this situation.

I'm going to be completely honest— I'm not sure where I am.


And frankly I don't care.


Why do I always do this to myself?

I never think ahead.

I never include the consequences when planning something out.

I never add the reasonable possibilities.

Why does this happen to specifically me?


I've always been good at running, I'm naturally fast. With the addition of constantly doing life endangering things, my body has adapted to being quick. Nobody I've come face to face with is faster than me.


But right now?


As I'm running for my life, trying to lose a group of phantoms who just so happen to have the same ability as me?


I think it's a good reason for me to start to genuinely panic.


My body is aching, but I've forced myself a little while ago to solely focus on my legs. My focus is starting to break. The burning of my lungs and the air that im not allowing myself to have is catching up to me.



But I don't want to die.


And im certainly not letting the offspring of satan eat me alive.

The second I feel my pace start to slow my anxiety blows through the fucking roof.

I let silent prayers slip in and out of my mind.


I don't like myself, I don't like the life I've lived, that was clear to me.



But as of right now I'm striving for survival. 


That's my top priority.


I don't care if I end up with an injury so bad I can't speak, or walk, —or even breath properly anymore, in fact I think I've already started to lose that ability. I violently cringe each time I hear a strangled wheeze come from my body.


I try my best to think positively, to gaslight myself into believing I would come out of this alive, doing my best because..maybe if I really believe, it would happen. 


I just want to wake up and tell my parents I love them. I want to be able to give Ben a huge hug and tell him that I'm beyond grateful for him. I want to tell the group that I started to care about how much they matter to me.

I let waves of regret flush through my trembling body, I hate how much I hate myself. There is no other way to explain it, I've forced myself to live in a secret life of despair, FOR NO REASON.


My feet are numb, but I continue to swing my arms at my sides and slam my legs to the ground in order to keep pushing my body forward.


A chorus of loud roars echo behinds me, and I want to physically break down at how close I hear them.



I'm not dying here.



That's all i keep telling myself, praying that it's true.


I don't know where I am, what street I am on, how I even got here.


My ankle swells, sending striking spike of pain through my entire body.


I scream.


I scream loud.


Colliding with the ground, my momentum drives me forward. I guess my fracture never fully healed.

I can see them. I can hear them. I can feel them coming towards me, I've practically begged for any sin I've ever acted in to be forgiven, I've mentally apologized to everybody I've done wrong, and I've accepted that I will most likely not wake up.


I drop my head into my arms, hoping whatever pain I might be feeling to kill me quick.


It's hard to imagine this is how I'd go out, that's one thing I noti—


BANG


I twist my body around once I hear a loud thump smack the ground, looking as to what might be causing those sounds.


BANG


BANG


I feel relief flood my veins, watching as the phantoms eat-shit just like I had.

Groaning, I drop myself on my back.

BANG!

A final gunshot goes off. 

And I can only hope it's one of the people who I so desperately want to hug.


^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Who is lovl3yxst4rs without her daily does of Aiden angst?

THE BLONDE BOY LIVES 🙀

This is definitely a bit random, but for the past couple days I have been imagining Aiden literally booking it for his life.

Anywho!

Eat up babes,


—💋💋⭐️

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