Why does Uranus have no large moons?

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Mars:Ey, Earth!

-Earth sighed-

Earth:Yes Mars?

Mars:It's crazy! Everyone in the solar system has a large moon! You have Luna/Moon and I have Phobos !

-Deimos looked ashamed-

Mars:O-Oh and you too Deimos! And Ju-

Earth:Woah Woah! Mercury and Venus do not have moons and Phobos isn't necessarily...a large moon..

-Moon came out from the distance-

Moon:Well..Earth isn't wrong.

Phobos:I'm humongous!

Moon:You look like a spec of dust compared to me.

Mars:Well hey! They're still moons..and besides! Everyone besides Mercury Venus and I guess me..has a large moon-

-Venus appeared-

Venus:Wrong.

Earth:Where did-

-Mars was confused-

Moon:Were you just ease-dropping?

Venus:You could say that..Well! Incorrect though..Ur...Uranus...I hate saying that...

Mars:Oh come on! The joke died off it's fine.

Venus:Whatever..Uranus doesn't have any large moons compared to Earth or the gas giants.

Mars:Really? Doesn't he have a moon named Titania? Isn't she-

Venus:Well..she CAN be considered a large moon but she's still a bit smaller than Triton.

Moon:Yeah.

Earth:Wait- So why doesn't Uranus have-

Mars:Storytime!

Venus:Now..that I don't know you've gotta ask him..anyways I'm outta here just came to say that piece of evidence.

-Venus dashed away-

Earth:That's interesting..

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