I've Loved and I've Lost

Chapter 66

Danica POV

I don't know what I'm doing. I don't have any idea what I'm doing. There isn't a manual or some teaching on this kind of thing. This isn't something that someone prepares for or sees coming. I don't know what I'm doing. 

"Mom," I practically jump out of my skin at the sound of Liylah's voice.

"Uh, yeah, yes," I quickly respond, zoning back into reality as I stare at my nearly ten year old daughter. 

"I'm out of toothpaste," She holds her toothbrush in her hand as she stares at me. 

"Oh, um you can use mine, it's in my bathroom," I point in the direction of my room, to which she follows with no question. I jump once more as my pager goes off. I rush over, knowing it could be something important considering they haven't paged me for almost a week due to my new situation. 911. "Uh, Liylah, I just--" 

"I have my bag, we can go," I turn around and see her with a backpack on, her helmet I'd bought her under her arm. I've been saving up for a car but right now all I have is my motorcycle. 

"I'm really sorry, I know you wanted to watch--" 

"Mom, you're a doctor. I get it, it's fine," I nod, biting my tongue. I run into my room and grab my bag before running back out. Liylah walks out first as I lock up behind us. I'm still getting used to the new place and no longer living with Meredith and the others. 

I rest my hand over Liylah's smaller ones that are wrapped tightly around my waist. "You good?" 

"Yeah," Her voice is loud enough for me to hear but I know she's still not used to the whole motorcycle thing as she tightens her grip around me. I smile softly before we take off down the road. I drive much safer, not taking any risks with my little girl on this death trap. We get to the hospital and we rush inside. I set her up in the waiting room, helping her take out her colouring and homework. 

"If you need me ask the nurse over there to page me okay?" She nods and I press a quick kiss to her forehead before running to the residents change rooms and quickly changing into my scrubs. I run to the pit only to see the rest of the residents lounging around. "I thought it was a 911," 

Everyone's heads whip around to look at me, having not seen me for nearly a week. "What are y'all sitting around for?" Everyone gets up and rushes to put on their P.P.E at the sound of Bailey's voice. "Dani," I zone back in, looking over at her. "What are you doing here?" 

"I got paged," I look at her with slight confusion. 

"Oh honey, I am so sorry. I forgot to exclude you when I said page all the residents," 

"Well, I'm here now, put me to work," I say with a forced grin, practically begging Bailey not to send me home. She sighs, reading my pleading fake smile. 

"Fine," I practically jump with excitement. In no way am I glad that I'm away from Liylah it's just, I don't know what I'm doing. At least when I'm in an O.R., I know. The group follows Bailey to the outside of a room, doctors inside rushing around an unconscious woman. "She was pinned under her car, her leg was amputated in a pit of dirt, her abdomen is pulp and her pelvis is probably crushed. You will work together. To assess her injuries and repair them," 

"In the O.R.?" I furrow my eyebrows at April's questions, where else would we repair one's injuries. 

"No, at the jiffy lube. Yes in the O.R.!" Bailey scolds causing me to stifle a laugh, Jackson looking at me with a smirk. My face heats as I advert my gaze. I haven't seen anyone in a week, including Jackson. I'd moved out and everyone knew where I was but the only people who I saw and spoke to regularly were Derek, Callie and Meredith. Occasionally Alex would pop by as well. But, mostly Meredith due to her and Derek's current problems and the fact that she was fired.