I've Loved and I've Lost

Chapter 48

Danica POV

I stand right in front of the doors to the hospital and I can't seem to move. My hand reaches up to grasp onto the necklace, quickly realizing I left it at the house. "George would want you to move on Dani," I mutter to myself, trying to believe the words I'm saying. 

"He would," I turn to my side and see Doctor Webber, aka Chief.

"Hi Chief," I sigh out as I look at the ground, slightly annoyed that I'd been caught talking to myself. 

"Dani, it's okay to move on. He'd want you to be happy and I can tell you're not happy," He says honestly, resting a comforting hand on my shoulder. I nod my head despite wanting to argue.

"I'm happy," I lie with a fake smile.

"Tell that to your face," He chuckles before walking inside, patting my shoulder as he does. I take a deep breath before doing the same.  I walk into the residents lockers and quickly change into my scrubs before heading for the door, only to run into someone. 

"Sorry--Dani,"

"Gotta go," I quickly cut Jackson off and run away. I can't deal with that right now, not at this moment. 

Jackson POV

I watch as Dani runs off with a sigh. I walk into the locker room and begin changing into my scrubs. "You're Jackson right?" I turn around and see a familiar resident.

"Yes and you are?" I ask confused at why she's approached me.

"Meredith Grey. Friend of Dani's. Look she's been through a lot and what you did--"

"What are you talking about? I haven't done anything to Dani," I quickly correct.

"You kissed her,"

"She kissed me--we kissed each other. I didn't know she'd freak out," I state honestly. I've been wondering why she spazzed out since last night.

"She's not ready okay? She's not ready for someone who might break her heart or hurt her feelings. She is dealing with a lot and she doesn't need another problem. So give her some space, got it?" I watch as Meredith's face stays serious, not letting up at all.

"Got it," I grumble before grabbing my lab coat and leaving the lockers. Obviously, I'm not gonna listen to her. I need to hear from Dani, I want to hear what she wants. 

Danica's POV

I lay on a bed in an on-call room, bored out of my mind from doing scut all day. The sound of the door opening, closing, and then locking, catches my attention. I look up and see Jackson. Oh god. I turn over to look at the wall. "What happened?" He asks. Just by the tone of his voice I can tell he's not gonna leave until I give him answers. 

"What are you talking about?" I ask, knowing damn well what he's talking about. 

"Come on Dani. We kissed and then you-you spazzed," I turn around and sit up, my feet planted on the floor with my arms on my knees. 

"I didn't spazz. I got scared," 

"Of what? I j-just want to understand," He says honestly. 

"I got scared of you, of kissing you, of liking it! I got scared because the last person I kissed was my husband, my husband who died! So, I'm sorry that I don't know how to be okay with kissing someone!" I yell as I stand up. I take a deep breath. "I don't know how to be without him, but when I was around you, I felt okay and that scared the absolute shit out of me. It scares the absolute shit out of me. I'm not ready for a relationship,"

"I'm not asking for a relationship," He says honestly. A smirk slowly making its way to his lips.

"What? Just sex?" I laugh lightly with a small smile, slight disbelief written on my face. 

"If that's what you want, if that's what you're comfortable with," 

I sigh heavily. "I'll think about it," I say honestly. "Can I leave now?" 

"I'll think about it," He jokes as we both laugh. "Can I--can I kiss you?" 

"Um, yeah I guess," I answer despite my hands shaking at my sides. He presses his lips to mine, his hand slowly holding my own. My hand instantly stops shaking as he deepens the kiss. Something about his lips on my own, feel right. I pull away and can't help but smile lightly. "Remember, no relationship,"

"Yes of course, no relationship," He smirks before kissing me again. 

Author's Note: Filler chapter, thats why it's short.