restart// 5SOS

26

Ashton

"Dr Irwin, thank you for coming,"

It had been a quiet hour. I got home after dropping the kids off, made myself and iced coffee, then lit some incense and started reading. I was gonna have a self care day by myself... all day.

Or at least I was, until I got a call that Axel had punched someone.

"Of course. What's going on?"

I sat next to Axel at the headteacher's desk and held his hand, brushing my thumb back and forth.

"I'm going to have to suspend Axel for a day... he punched a student,"

"Right. Why'd you do that buddy?"

"He was making fun of Alyssa," he said, looking at me with teary eyes. More importantly, a black eye.

"You need to tell an adult when that happens," I said, gently touching his eye to check it, "Otherwise this happens back,"

"I know. Ally was upset all lesson, and I felt sick, and I wanted to come home and I'm stressed and I... I couldn't stop myself. He called her a crybaby,"

"Punching isn't the answer, okay?"

"I know," he sobbed, "I was scared he was gonna touch her and I felt so anxious. My tank was full. That emotional tank you said about to Ally it was full- it's overflowing. I can't do school. Ally and I we can't, we're too stupid,"

"Yes you can, you are both capable. What do you mean touch her?"

"Nothing,"

"Did something happen in class?"

"No,"

"Right... let's get home," I said firmly.

"Ally is on her own,"

"I didn't see her outside, she must be doing fine,"

"She's on her own," he shouted.

"Axel, buddy," I whispered, "Let's go home. You need to get away from this environment right now and that's okay,"

"I can't go back to class ever again,"

"Hey, between you and me, Axel, a lot of people in your class would love to punch Cooper. However, I still have to punish you," the headteacher said, giving me a sympathetic smile, "Sometimes school is too much, you should go home,"

"Okay,"

"And when you're back, we can talk about how we can make school a bit easier, yeah?"

"Am I gonna go to jail?"

"Nobody is going to jail,"

"I'm really sorry,"

"I know, go home, Alyssa will be okay," he said, passing Axel some tissues.

"She won't be,"

"She will be,"

"No she won't,"

"Axel, let's go to the car," I said sternly, "Now, please,"

I stood, pulling him up too. He seemed exhausted, and his mind was clearly chaos, his eyes wide as he spoke. I wasn't sure he was quite at school. His mind seemed to be somewhere else.

We got to the car and climbed into the front seats, then I put the aircon on to cool him down a bit and gently ran my fingers through his hair, hushing him as he cried.

"You're safe here buddy. Dad's here, okay?"

"Okay,"

"Dad's here,"

He leant across to me and I hugged him, soothing him. I hadn't expected him to be the one school upset so much, so I was definitely taken by surprise a little, but I would figure it out.

"Tell me exactly what happened,"

"Ally was getting upset, I think she couldn't read it properly and she was worried because our new friends are all like... those perfect kind of people she's worried about,"

"Alright,"

"June took her to the bathroom because she was crying, but then she cried again in class and seemed a bit sad. Then when we left Cooper called her a crybaby and I... it just happened. I punched him and he punched me back a million times harder because I lost all my punch laying in bed for a month,"

"Yeah, we will get you an ice pack,"

"I thought he might hurt her or try and... I don't know. Do something,"

"Yeah,"

"I'm having a bad memory,"

"I'm sorry sweetheart," I said.

"I'm so stupid,"

"Punching someone is not okay, and I do not expect you to do that ever again... but you were protecting your sister because that's your instinct,"

"I've thrown many punches before,"

"Mhm, and it doesn't make it right, but I can see the anxiety all built up,"

"I'm sorry I disappointed you,"

"Just don't do it again,"

"I'm so stupid,"

"Look, what's done is done, and by the sounds of things people are gonna think you're pretty awesome for standing up to him. You shouldn't have done it, but you did, and now we get another day at home together to recover and talk, and think about how to regulate these emotions,"

"Okay,"

"Ice cream?"

"I just punched a guy,"

"You did, but you also feel like absolute crap, and that is no good,"