It hurts..
It really hurts..
I didnt expect that it will be hurt like this..
I didnt expect that I will be hurt this much..
I didnt expect that the girl I want to spend my life with is not sure about me.
Im always sure about this, but what about her? She can't even say yes..
I think I'm the saddest person right now. I feel like I'm not the one she wants to be with. Maybe she just loves me but she doesn't want to be with me forever.
It hurts like hell..
Pumunta ako sa dalampasigan at doon ako uminom mag isa..
Nag isip.. habang umiiyak..
"You're here.. kaya pala hindi ako makatulog eh.." sabi ni fon na biglang nagpalingon sakin.
Nasa likod ko sya. Nakasando.. Nakabihis ng pantulog pero nandito sa labas..
"I want to be alone.." mahinahong sabi ko sa kanya.
"Okay.. be alone with me." Sabi ni Fon sabay upo sa tabi ko.
"Bat ba ang kulit mo?" Mahinahon kong tanong. Alam ko naman kung bakit sya nandito..
"If my best friend is sad and I'm not by her side to ease her feelings, I'm so useless." sabi ni Fon habang nakangiti at nakatingin sakin.
Hindi ako nagsalita. Uminom lang ako ng uminom. Alam ko kasi na maiiyak lang ako kapag nagsalita ako.
"You're brave. You did something even though you weren't sure of the outcome. That's what love is. You will do everything even if there is no certainty that you will win." Sabi ni Fon na gusto akong pakalmahin.
"You were brave when you did that, so you should also be brave to face the outcome." Sabi nya sakin..
Well she's right. Dapat maging matapang ako sa outcome ng ginawa ko. Pero hindi parin ako nagsalita. Patuloy lang ako sa pag inom
"Bec had a reason why she ran away when you asked her. You should hear the reason why.." sabi ni Fon sakin.
"Whatever the reason, it still hurts." Sagot ko sa kanya sabay tungga sa alak.
"I know. But when you hear the reason, I'm sure you'll feel better.." sabi ni Fon sakin.
"How sure? As if you know the reason? You two are not talking.." sabi ko sa kanya.
"Who told you? We're very close now.." sabi ni Fon sakin kaya napangiti ako. Pero shempre hindi parin nababawasan yung sakit na nararamdaman ko.
"I didn't expect that she would suddenly run." Sabi ko sa kanya.
"All of us did not expect this." Sabi ni Fon.
"But whatever her answer is, you should be able to accept it." Sabi nya sakin sabay hawak sa balikat ko.
"I know.." sagot ko nang bigla namang dumating si Tee.
"What are you doing here? Are you two dating under the moon?" Biro ni Tee samin kaya inirapan sya ni Fon.
"Hindi na nawalan ng broken hearted sa barkadang to.." nakangiting sabi ni Fon sabay alis. Iniwan nya kami ni Tee.
Umupo si Tee sa tabi ko.. kahit hindi nya sabihin ay alam kong naghihintay sya na magsalita ako..
"What are you doing here? You cant sleep?" Tanong nya sakin.
"Bec said that the moon is a good friend for a lonely people.." malungkot na sabi ko sa kanya.
