Parenthood~ Continuation of Love Conquers All

IRL • part 446

I look at my alarm clock, 9:35am it read. I had just finished posting for Jacob's birthday. My mom, dad, grandma and Jessica went back to Toronto for a week since they aren't American citizens and have to return there once every six months. Alex doesn't have to go back since he's on a work visa and I don't either because of both a work visa and I am legally married to an American. Sucks that at this very moment, me and my American aren't even sleeping on the same bed.

Ian and I had a big fight last night.

We both are trying to figure out plans for the birth of our next baby. I know it's too soon but it's a very important topic. In nine months I'll be working on my new tv show in New York. Ian will be in Georgia for TVD and my family will be over here in Los Angeles. It's a huge issue because he wants to be with me at all times during this pregnancy after the complications of the last one and I don't want to give up my contract for my new show which I already signed.

We were going back and forth for a good three hours. It eventually ended with me storming off to our shared bedroom in my families LA home we've been staying in and balling my eyes out to sleep. Ian never came into the room. That has never happened before. Anytime we have an argument he always ends up coming to the bed and cuddling up with me to eventually apologize or figure things out the next morning. This time...was different. And I hate it.

I've been back from New York for three days and these past few days have taken a big toll on my marriage. Ian and I are always at each others necks. Always bickering. And on top of it all, this pregnancy is almost even worse than my last one. The worst part is, I haven't told Ian about how I'm feeling because I never even get the chance to. That's bad it's been.

I let out a deep sigh as I grab my phone from the bedside table. I plop myself slowly up to a sitting position, a sharp pain immediately going through my right hip causing me to wince.

"Fuck my life," I breath out through gritted teeth as I rub the area that gave that sudden shock. I look over my shoulder to see the empty spot on my bed. On our bed. I can't believe he never came in the room. It honestly hurt to think he didn't even try.

Since I'm pregnant but had just birthed a baby a little over six months ago...I still have breast milk to feed Selena. I am planning to stop really soon as I'm starting to notice my boobs are getting extra tender from breastfeeding the farther along I get in the pregnancy. Despite the discomfort I'm feeling in my stomach, I know I have to get up to feed Selena. So, I slowly bring myself up and head for my bedroom door. I open it, the beautiful sunlight from the sunroof just above making a beautiful rainbow on the ground in front of me. I let out a small smile before making my way down the stairs and to the living room. As I slowly walked in, I see Ian laying there asleep on the couch shirtless with a small blanket on top of him. It broke me seeing this. To the side of the couch, there say the baby's crib where she laid peacefully. My two babies.

I carefully pick up Selena. As her eyes slowly open I give her a bright smile. This girl always made my day ten times better.

"Good morning, my angel." I softly whispered. "Did you sleep beside da-da?"

Selena let out a small giggle.

"Awe," I laughed at how cute that was. "I love you, my baby." I press a kiss on the top of her head as I held her on my hip.

With one free hand, I pull up my shirt. Since I don't go to sleep with any bra on, it was easier to give her my breast. Her little hands grasp on me and she brings her mouth to where it has to be, she already knew her routine. I can't lie, it hurts when her teeth accidentally dig into my skin but I'm already used to it. With Selena in my arms, I walk over to the kitchen to start making breakfast for Ian and I.