GOLDWING (ing version)

FLASHBACK. - In The Midnight Hour

Berlin, June 2021.

writer's pov

TW: SA,  EDs, abuse.

After they discovered her greatest secret, Victoria felt groundless. She felt ashamed that Damiano knew that she found pleasure and shelter in cutting, that she threw up everything she ate because she thought she was too fat. Her bulimia was never a subject for anyone. For many years, Victoria would vomit up everything she ate, sometimes with or without cravings. That is when she had her first relapse and ended up in the hospital after Thomas found her dizzy in her hotel room in Dublin. She had always been physically healthy. Then came the diagnosis of hypoglycemia. Victoria's mother had diabetes, so that was not a surprise. Months later, anemia after abnormal bleeding. And after many visits to the doctor, she was diagnosed with uterine myoma. After a few years, it started giving problems again, and she had surgery to remove the myoma, which was successful. All this made Vic's condition worse. For a while, despite everything, she was a happy girl, despite all her losses and battles. But in the quarantine of 2020, everything changed. Cut off from everyone and everything, she began to enjoy her own company too much. From there, it was only a small step until she started vomiting again, and crying every day. And that Christmas, she took a small knife she had in the bathroom and cut her arm for the first time.

In an attempt to escape from her monsters, Vic took an Uber after the show, still in her sweaty clothes. Then she got lost, in bars. She drank a little, a little too much, and forgot almost everything that had happened. Next to her was no one, until a young blond man and another dark-haired man came up to her. After many conversations, they gave her a sedative in her drink, and she practically blacked out as soon as they locked her in the bathroom and took off her blouse. They knew very well who she was. Vic de Angelis. Everyone in town was talking about how attractive she was.

Hours later, she slowly began to gain consciousness. Her clothes were torn from her body, and her skin was touching that damp bathroom floor. Inside her legs, blood had come out. On her thigh, a bruise and a marking of a hand. And on her chest, hand markings, again, hidden by a tape she always puts on. To her left, was a empty bottle of whiskey, she smell like it. On the right, is her purse. It was 1 in the morning. And she had been raped. It was a conclusion that was not easy to reach for her, who was still very disoriented.

A race against time began there. After the bleeding stopped, she put as much toilet paper as she could on her intimate parts. Then she tried to put on what was left of her clothes. A large dose of makeup and tricks that Chantal had taught her once helped her to hide the bruises. And after much wandering in her thoughts, a person unlocked the bathroom. Jess, a redheaded bartender. She was wearing a striped shirt and black shorts under a black apron. After asking her if she wanted to call someone, she said no. The young woman accepted the decision of Vic, who was even older than her, and tried to get her a blanket to cover her, left the bar with her, and sat her weak body on the back of her motorcycle until she reached the outskirts of her house. The young woman lived in a shared apartment with 2 questionable roommates, all medical students. That small space lived filled with encyclopedias on the tables, torn papers, and a giant coffee stock. Jess came from a neighborhood far away from Amsterdam, from a large host family, with 3 siblings, 1 from each country. She, for example, came from Traisen, Austria. The only housemate who was there at that moment was Fede, Federico. Italian. So things got a little easier for Victoria. Faced with 2 third-year medical students in front of her, after they had calmed her down with benzodiazepines that belonged to her other classmate Millie, they talked to her and asked her things about what had happened. Just to make sure that she, Victoria, had been raped. The first step was to ask her if she wanted to call the police, because although she didn't remember her attackers very well, the place had security cameras, and Jess could access them. Victoria denied this, but eventually gave in to going to the hospital where they were interning, to hydrate and do a so-called "rape kit". They collected photos and genetic material of everything. And, if one day she wanted to come forward with it, she would have the evidence stored for unlimited time at the police. After this lengthy process, they stopped by a pharmacy and bought a morning-after pill, and dressed her in other clothes.

"Thank you so much, you didn't have to do that." 

"Yes, I had to. Nobody helped me when it happened to me, so... I want to help other people."

" You know, I'm afraid of what might happen, because..." 

"You're famous, right? The Gucci necklaces said it all," Jess commented.

"Not really." 

"I know her," Millie says, once she gets home, "It's Victoria from Maneskin." 

"From the Mane-what?" asked Jess, confused.

" MÁ-NESKIN, I think." replied Fede.

"It's pronounced Moo-neskin. It's a Danish word."

 "My sister is Danish," Millie commented

."Nobody cares about that now, honey." Jess replied, sarcastically. 

After goodbyes, Jess wrote on Vic's phone to cover her phone number if she ever needed it. And then she went by Victoria near the outskirts of the hotel. 

As soon as she saw the hotel, she found Ethan on the balcony of his room, with Leo. Even more afraid, she walked quickly to her hotel room door and was almost fainting from exhaustion, still trying to stay awake with the energy of what she had eaten at 3 in the afternoon. A while later, she went to her bed and watched the ceiling and her surroundings. She didn't know what to do. She didn't know if she was pregnant by one of those men, or not. She didn't know if she was under the effect of some drug. She didn't know what the next step was. Whether she would take a bath, or just let herself fall asleep forever with her sleeping pills. Yet the moment she took off her clothes that were clinging to her body from the glue of the bandages she used on her cuts, a familiar sound reaches her ears. 

 "Vic?"

-

hi guys!

so yes, in the middle of the normal chapters, there will be these flashbacks, mainly from Vic's story. i hope you enjoy it and remind those little details for later!

tks for reading <3

mel.