GOLDWING (ing version)

chapter 36

VICTORIA'S POV

After a few days, I woke up again, in the ICU, I could recognize the transparent doors. 

A simple c-section that should have taken less than 1 hour took 3 and a half hours. A cut in my lower abdomen developed into a giant haemorrhage and another bigger cut. And an unbearable abdominal pain that could have been nothing more than a movement of the baby led to her birth, during the same day.I felt all sore, and couldn't move, not to mention my chest was very swollen. When I first touched myself, I felt a bandage and a nappy in the place that felt my little one. And all I knew how to do was cry, cry a lot.

The first person I saw after I woke up other than a bunch of surgeons and doctors was Nica, along with Dam. They were having a cup of coffee, and when they saw me open my eyes they started crying along with me. They told me that they had already seen the baby, and that she was beautiful. I couldn't wait for the moment I'd see her, but at that time it wasn't possible. Even with a giant breathing helper covering her face, I could see her physical features from a photo on Dam's mobile phone. She had Dam's striking nose, and my lips. Just like I'd always dreamed of.

"Remember what one of our X Factor colleagues once said?" he asks.

"That our kids were going to be really beautiful? Yes, I do."

"Well, I guess he was right," I replied, laughing.

"Here they are... David and De Angelis, together, how could I not notice this?" said Damiano's brother, entering the room.

"There's no limit on the number of visitors here?" Dami mocks.

Shortly afterwards Damiano's mother arrived in the room. As soon as she sees me, she comes to my feet, and gives me a kiss on the forehead. To these people, I look like a martyr, or a saint. She hugs me tightly, like a mother hugs her daughter. Like my mother used to hug me. The room was filled with people. On the side of the bed were Dam and Nica, and all around us were Dam's parents and brother, Ethan, Thomas and Leo. Due to a storm, my family couldn't make it, but that's what video calls were invented for. From Leo's Ipad screen, you could hear my dad, my aunt and my little cousin, talking. "Uncle said you had a baby. Is that true?", my cousin asked. "Yes, it's true.", I replied, giving a slight smile. 

My doctor came into the room, asking everyone to leave the room, to talk to us. She was the same one who operated on me, who saw me in the ER cringing in pain and with Dam wiping my own sweat.

"Well, first of all, you were very strong, Victoria. And so was Damiano, congrats."

"We had no choice but to be strong," he sighs.

"So, shall we talk about the baby?"

"Yes, of course," we both answered simultaneously. "Guys, you may leave by now, is that okay?" They nodded.

"Does she already have a name? Because she's called 'baby de Angelis' in the NICU by now."

"Oh well... we didn't think of a name. I mean, it could be..."

"Angel," Damiano said.

"I was thinking the same."

"Thanks for the information, the nurse will give you the paperwork later. I know this is tough, but Angel suffers from Neonatal Respiratory Distress Syndrome. It consists of difficulty breathing normally. For a few days now, we've been noticing that her breathing is almost shallow, her urine output was low and her skin sometimes turns a bluish colour. So a few minutes ago we had to put her on a ventilator. That means..."

"That the machine is breathing for her. I've been on one of those, twice," I sigh, not surprised, but not happy.

"I'm sorry to hear that. She's going to have to stay in here for a long time, since she was born 14 weeks earlier than she was supposed to, and she's on high watch because of her condition, which has been worsening, but we're trying to get it under control. Is that clear?"

"Doctor, will she... survive? Don't give me an average answer. I can take it," My voice was trembling.

"I can't answer that question clearly by now, she's only 1 week old. But I can assure you that we are doing what is in our power to do." That's what all doctors say.

When she left, we were left alone, the two of us, in the room, looking at each other. He did with me the same thing he always does: he lay down on my bed behind me so that I was comfortable with my head on his chest. We really did look like a couple. But no, we were friends who had a daughter. So weird yet cute.

DAMIANO'S POV

I arrived at the doors of the neonatal ICU, as usual. Already from afar, I could spot Angel, who was always in the upper right corner of the room. Around me were parents in the same situation as me, mothers in wheelchairs. Oh, how I wish Vic was here too.

I put on the light pink disposable gown that a nurse gave me and went over to her, to my little one. I noticed she had the new appliance, the ventilator. Her little cap was yellow, but it changed colour every day. That was one of her only clothes. Sometimes it was agonizing to see her full of wires, carrying medication by her little hand and her little foot. Now a medium tape covered her mouth, which taped the tube that breathed through it. If I could, I could hold her up with just the palm of my hand.

Every moment I looked at her, I thought of Vic. All the happy moments we lived together, all the adventures. That was my guarantee that if I ever lost Vic, I would always have a part of her with me. But the doctors were beginning to prepare me discreetly and slowly for what might happen. She could have lots of complications when she grew up, and she might not be able to handle so many things and problems due to her prematurity. True, I didn't rule out the possibility that she might pass away. But I'd rather not think about it.From one moment to the next, the machines started beeping, the doctors coming, the nurses pulling me away from her. I think the moment everything changed was when I realised that I "deserved" this. That this wasn't happening TO me. It was happening FOR me. We loved her very much, but God loved her more.

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hi guys!

please, I need your feedback so much about this!! besides all the story, I had a really hard yet beautiful time writing Angel's story and how she changed her parent's lives. 

love,

mel.