GOLDWING (ing version)

chapter 14

2 days later, another routine started. We had just started our little tour of 3 shows in Paris, 2 of them on the same day in different locations. For me, those are the worst days, because of all the rush of moving to another city in a short time, and also because of the fact I get even more tired. On another day, I couldn't talk to Damiano about what happened that night. For a long time, I couldn't stop thinking about that second when he pushed me against that door and said all those beautiful things to me, but at the same time, I thought I'd better give up on that idea, after all, he was drunk, and so was I. It had been almost 2 days, and I didn't dare to confront Dam with that. I thought all sorts of things: that he has drunk and kissed me on impulse; that he took advantage of my vulnerability at the time; and I even thought it was because he missed Giorgia. The only thing I couldn't get through my head was that he had feelings for me. One way or another, life went on. I couldn't just stop focusing on work because of a stupid kiss.

After arriving at another hotel, having a sound test before the show, and being
prepared by makeup artists and hairdressers, I slowly started to forget about it. It also reminded me that it had been almost 6 months since I had been on a real stage, and that concert will mark my little comeback. Even better, we were participating in a festival where we were one of the headliners. The moment that I took a step onto the stage, I saw that environment, which was full of people, all very excited. It's in those moments that I feel like I was born to be on stage.

When the show ended, I wasn't feeling good at all. Inside the backstage, a person from our team was holding an oxygen machine. Unfortunately, that situation was already predictable in the smart minds of the team members. Even though I know that many artists need oxygen support before or after gigs, I was feeling like a freak. But at the same time, I felt so much better when I inhaled it. It reminded me a little of those old days when I was on oxygen until I fell asleep.

A few minutes later, I was feeling okay. A little confused about it all, but okay. I wiped my sweat with a towel, put on some clothes I had in my little backpack, and left my dressing room. As soon as I came out of the dressing room, I saw Damiano right next to the door. When he saw me, he pulled me to his dressing room. And of course, I immediately thought he was finally going to talk with me about what had happened 2 days ago.

"Victoria, I..."

"What are you going to tell me?"

"I wanted to ask..."

"So, just say it."

"Yes but..."

"Yeah but what, Dam?"

"CAN YOU STOP INTERRUPTING ME?" he said, slamming the door.

"Yes, well..." I said, slightly startled.

"Did you still need oxygen?"

"Yes, why? Suddenly did you decide to worry about me again? Or is this just another one of those excuses to talk to me?"

"You don't know what you're talking about, Vic, I've always worried about you."

"So, can I get out of here now?"

"You can, but... what thing I did so wrong?"

"Are we going to forget what happened 2 days ago? Damiano, you kissed me. You grabbed me, you... anyways. You know very well what you did to me. And then you pull me suddenly into your dressing room, wanting to talk. I guess it's normal that I thought you would finally put your pride aside and come back to talk to me and try to clear things up, right? I mean, I think that's the least you could do. But you can also let it go, you were drunk."

"But Vic..."

I was completely out of me.

I got in the van and tried to sit in a place where I was furthest away from everyone else. I must admit, all I felt like at that moment was to free all the tears I'd been holding back all that time, and get away from Damiano. But this time, I knew perfectly well that if I ran away again, the consequences would be much greater because we were in days full of interviews and stuff. So, I had to be strong as I have been so many times and hold on.