GOLDWING (ing version)

FLASHBACK - My Little Love

DAMIANO'S POV

As I opened my eyes, I saw the blue pattern in the font of the hospital letters right in front of my eyes. It was fourth day hooked up to transparent wires running through my hand. Plop-plop, I pretend to hear each drop that comes out of the IV into the dropper, which passes within seconds into my body. The colour of the bracelet that says 27/02/24 Damiano David fades each time 2 friendly nurses appear in my room at 11am, with gestures and caring touch already programmed to get me into the shower and let their unknown hands pass through my body.

For the first time, instead of the nurse giving me a new robe, she gave me a tracksuit. At the end of the first day of hospitalisation, when everyone had gone home, I saw her again. She was the nurse who had consoled me when I passed in the corridor and saw a father who had just given birth to his daughter, her name was Desirée. An on-call nurse who seemed not to be underrated for what she knew. Having someone my age being responsible for me in a health unit made me realise how old I was getting. In the blink of an eye, I was 25. I was closer to 30 than 20. I look back and see all the insecurities I had at 22, with all the pressure from the industry and forced to be the support in a relationship where only the other person mattered, with parts of myself to discover and with hidden needs.

She came to my room on the afternoon shift, when I had already slept and the staff were on extended visiting hours.

"You must be wondering why I gave you a tracksuit in the morning. You are going to see Victoria. Her values are up and she might be waking up," she said. Had I heard right? I was going to see Vic after all this time?

With all the strength I had I wrapped my arms around the small stature of the young woman, who held me tightly.

"At least you can stand up," she smiles. 

"Thank you, really."

Ludovico, the Italian nurse who had endless conversations with me, entered the room with a wheelchair.

"Andiamo?" he asks, with a twinkle in her eye. "For all intents and purposes, it was Desirée and I who spoke to the head of the ICU."

"All right, I accept."

As I get in and out of the private lifts to the inpatient ward, I bump into people I don't know from anywhere. I bumped into Vic's anaesthetist, who waved at me, smiling even though her mouth was covered with a surgical mask. What was common about those who were dedicated life-savers was that everyone knew our names. They were the only ones who knew something, and they could not expose that at any cost.

I put on a pink disposable gown, and walked in a northerly direction, where Victoria was. We met my brother and Nica on the way. The brother and sister duo. Normally, they didn't speak much, but for now they were inseparable. They both lost their first niece, and had siblings who were far from well. The denial in me was prevalent from the moment I signed Angel's final documents. We did everything. We've lived through comings and goings, arguments, affairs, break-ups and our moments in just 4 years of international fame that were supposed to be the best. We deserved it. We deserved the chance to raise our daughter in our chosen family, within our world, and make her a good person. That was not fair. It never was and it never will be.

My sleeping angel was next to another mum's bed. Claire, mum of twins. She had faced severe complications and had lost her third baby, and was fighting strong, just like Victoria. I met her partner at the NICU, when told me her story.

"Well done!" the redhead exclaimed. "David, right?"

"'Right," I smiled. I wasn't going to get upset again about being called by my surname. 

"How's she doing?" I asked, tilting my head to the right, where Vitto was lying.

"I don't know, I... Well... I woke up from an induced coma a day and a half ago. You knew me before that, right?"

"I think so," I reply. It's at that moment that I start to go back to the 18th. Thinking about how they were going to tell Vic that Angel was gone.

"I heard what happened, I'm sorry for your loss. It's happened to me twice before," she sighs. In her tired look, I can see she knows what she's talking about. "But you know, instead of worrying about trying to get back what we've already lost, we have to take care of those who are left here. Like her. I've known her since the moment I saw her walk into that very room, and I saw how much she's loved. And listen. She will cry in your lap, scream, pray. You are facing this slapstick reality, and you cannot refrain from doing your grieving to help with hers. And when you have to, you will do the same as her."

"I don't think this will ever go away."

"To be honest, it doesn't. You just... you just live with it."

-

hey people!

now I can finally say that we arrived to the end of our FLASHBACK saga! which one was your favourite?

if you want to support an aspirant writer (me), go check my Linktree (in my bio) and give a look to my social media, and if you can follow me! oh, and you can also find there GOLDWING's Official Playlist, which is a mix of all the songs that are featured on the story/inspired it.

love you all!

mel.