♡ Heal Me, Love Me.♡ (Illumi x Reader x Chrollo)

♡ New Home: Part 2 ♡

Your eyes felt like they didn't get a break. The more you tried to comfort yourself, the more they overflowed.

"Why did you do this..." You managed to choke out.

Illumi looks at you expressionless, despite his desperate tone.

"It was the only way we could be together ." He replied.

You grimaced at him before clutching onto your face harshly.

"Why was I such an idiot?!" You speak to yourself . "Why did I ever believe, someone like you would be sane enough to understand anything about love..." your voice lowered to a broken whisper.

"I do not understand,

I did this out of love." Illumi voices.

You remove your hands from your face, and stare at the voids within his eyes.

"No...
You will never understand what it feels like to love someone.
The only thing you've known from the beginning was control..."

Illumi stares at you. "Y/N, let's go home."

You look up at Illumi's face and think to yourself how unfortunate your fate had come to. What other choice do you have now?

"Who is Y/N anymore?" You ask out loud.
"You're not making any sense." Illumi voices.
"You do not love me Illumi...
You don't even know me."

Your existencial turmoil seemed to leave Illumi puzzled. You look at his blank stare and understand that he will never know you, but will comply with the romanticized version of you in his eyes.

You look behind Illumi and lethargically stare at the piles of corpses he'd left behind. Now what?
Where is your home now?

Where will you go?

You stand up, and with a solemn look you finally voice a composed sentence.

"Yes... let's go home Illumi."

Illumi stands up and and nods.

"You will feel better, after you've grieved for a few days." Illumi says in an attempt to comfort you.

You nod. The pain had now been burrowed under a cloudy sense of no longer desperation but rage within you.

Illumi began leading the way, and you followed behind. Your expression darkened upon each step.

'Illumi.
You've done nothing but ruin me.'

You thought to yourself.

'From this day on, I belong nowhere.

And you Illumi, will be my reason to stay alive.

And when the day comes, in which you're dying at my feet, I will walk past and remind you of all you've done to me.' Your new reason to breathe echoed through your skull.

You were determined now, to break Illumi the very same way he had broken you. It was clear that breaking someone who already seemed broken from the beginning would be a difficult challenge.
But now you knew, that Illumi was willing to open what little bit of heart he had left within him for you only.

You look at Illumi's back while following behind, his long dark hair blowing swiftly from the morning breeze.

You reach out and hold his cold hand. He turns to look at you.

You force a weak smile. Illumi stops abruptly.

"You are happy now, Y/N?" He asks.

You nod.

"I've realized, I have a new family now..." You choke out in hidden disgust. Your words embarrassed you, and left you feeling ashamed.

Illumi looks at you with soft tenderness. Despite being a cold hearted assassin, he never came to understand the act of lying, especially from those he fully trusted.

"I'm glad you view me as family now." Illumi voices.

You smile once again. Illumi brings your hand up towards his lips and pecks it. "You will be much happier once we grow a new family together, Y/N." Illumi says enthusiastically.

You inch closer and hide your face on Illumi's chest while you clench him close in a forced embrace.

"I'm already so happy with you here." You manage to muffle out.

Illumi blushes. He feels nothing but pure bliss with every second of skinship you offer him. He awkwardly wraps his arms around you, and feels at ease that no one but him will be able to hold you from now on.

'You are mine only.' Illumi thinks to himself.

He is eager to bring you home and create new memories of your touch with him.

You attempt to pull back but Illumi's embrace is stern.

"Y/N... promise you won't leave me."

You stay still. "Why would I ever leave you?" You respond.

"That's not what I said." Illumi cuts back intensely.

"Promise. You won't ever leave me." Illumi repeats.

You smile. "I will never leave your side, Illumi.
That's a promise.

Even when death arrives, I will stay at your side."

Illumi pulls back and looks at your face.

"I promise as well, Y/N.

I will never let any other being touch you, even less hurt you."

You nod.

"Although I'm not as strong as you, Illumi.

I promise to keep you company, whenever and wherever you need it...

I am yours only." Your words made you feel nauseous.

Illumi's eyes brighten up. You knew exactly what to say to excite a control freak like him.

You turn around. "Let's not waste anymore time, let's hurry home, Illumi." You coerce him, and he accepts to continue leading the way.

'Till death do us apart.'