Mountains and Oceans

Chapter 19

"Hey Bailey," Lilly smiled softly as she sat next to Bailey on the ocean shore while Silas and Axel walked off down a way to give them privacy. "It's nice out today."

"It is," She nodded softly while watching the waves kiss the shore. "You got here fast."

"I was very worried when Jack told me," She said honestly. "I wanted to see for myself that you are okay." She slid her shoes off and dug her toes into the sand. "How does the sand feel to you?"

"Honestly it hurts a little right now," Bailey admitted. "My skin feels stretched and every time I move it hurts but I don't want to leave. I want to watch this, hear this, smell this."

"It sounds like your nerves are just shot," Lilly nodded, "Like the adrenaline from everything happening is coming down. How about we sit on a blanket and see if that helps your body."

"Okay," Bailey nodded. "I don't want to leave."

"Then we won't," Lilly said as she sent a text. A few minutes later Liam, Henry, and Harry appeared. "Thank you," She said as Henry picked up Bailey while Liam and Harry spread out the blanket and placed the cooler down next to them.

"You're welcome," they said as they kissed Bailey on her forehead then left.

"Here," Lily said handing her a flavored water with electrolyte, "we don't need you getting dehydrated."

"Thanks," She said taking a drink. "So is this another session?"

"Nope," Lilly shook her head, "Not unless you want it to be. This is best friends hanging out and getting both of us away from all the male testosterone that we are constantly surrounded by."

"Thanks Lilly," Bailey smiled as she pulled her knees up and rested her chin on them. They just sat in silence and watched the waves. After a while Bailey sighed, "I'm scared to take a shower again."

"That's understandable," Lilly responded. "I would be too, it sounded like you had no warning, no trigger to respond to."

"I don't want to go through that again," Bailey whispered. "But I don't want to have to depend on the guys all the time either. I should be able to have my own independent life without them. I am in my 20's, I shouldn't have to depend on my best friends so much. It's ridiculous."

"No it isn't," Lilly shook her head. "Did I ever tell you how I met my husbands? Or why I am a therapist?"

"No," Bailey shook her head.

"I went through something similar, Bailey," Lily said sighing as she turned to face Bailey. "I went to a party with some friends and my drink was spiked. I tried leaving and this guy offered to help me. Instead he took me upstairs and raped me repeatedly. Harry and Henry had actually shown up to get Jack's little sister since he was working and they heard me screaming for help. They beat the guy and got me out of their before I passed out. I was terrified of everything afterwards and they stayed by my side to help me overcome everything. They were there on my darkest days and on my good days. We slowly became friends and eventually became more. They helped me see it was okay to see a therapist and they encouraged and supported me when I came to the decision that I wanted to help others that have gone through similar experiences that I went through. So, I do understand what you are feeling, and I understand the feeling overwhelmed and aloneness that you are feeling. I understand feeling guilty and trapped, I've gone through it. I can help you regain your independence, we all can. You won't feel this way forever, I promise."

"Thank you, Lilly," Bailey smiled and hugged her. "It's neat that you were able to find happiness after all that. To have a life after that."

"You will too," Lilly smiled. "You will get your happiness and love one day. It may not seem like it right now but you will."

"I don't believe in love," She shook her head. "That's just something made up for books and movies."

"If you don't believe in love then what are your views on marriage?" Lilly asked curiously. "What do I have with my husbands?"

"Happiness," Bailey shrugged. "95% of marriages are just made out of convenience for people, people that don't want to be alone so they settle for people that they know they can live together with but there are few that find people that make them happy, truly happy, and they get married to keep having that happiness, that's what you have, a marriage of happiness and a piece of paper that proves your happiness to others."

"Love is real, Bailey," Lilly smiled softly. "There are different kinds of love but love is real and that's what we have. You will have it one day."

"No I wont," She shook her head, "But I'm okay with that."