Mountains and Oceans

Chapter 23

"Hello Bailey."

Bailey looked up from the book she was reading when she heard someone come into her room and smiled, "Spence!" She dropped the book and ran to hug him. He hugged her back and she looked up at him surprised, "This is a surprise."

"I had a few days off so I wanted to come check on you," He said as he dropped his bag on her bed. "How are you?"

"I'm doing better," She answered honestly. "I still have bad days but I'm having more good days than bad now."

"That's good," He nodded. "Just keep taking it one day at a time." He patted her knee, "come on, let's go for a walk."

"Okay," She nodded and followed him down the stairs. "We're going to for a walk."

"Have fun," Axel called out as they headed to the back door for the gardens.

"Were you able to catch the bad guy?" Bailey asked as they slowly strolled through the flowers.

"Bad guys," Spencer corrected, "but yes we did."

"That's good," She smiled softly. "Were there many victims?"

"Too many," He said as he watched her.

"But think of all those that you saved without them even knowing," She smiled up at him. "You and your team really are superheroes." They walked in silence for a few minutes then she asked, "If what they think they are doing is right, then how do you justify that it's evil?" She asked.

"Evil can't be scientifically defined, Baily," Spencer shook his head. "It is an illusory moral concept that doesn't exit in mature. Its origins and connotations have been inextricably been linked to religion and mythology." He sighed, "but even then deep down one can tell the difference between right and wrong. Killing each other for pleasure is wrong."

"How do you deal with the monsters and ghosts, Spence?"

"Stephen King wrote Monsters are real, and ghosts are real too. They live inside us and sometimes they win," he said after a few seconds of thinking. "I'm just doing what I can to stop them from winning."

She hugged him tightly, "Thank you."

"You are welcome," He said when she pulled away.

"How do I move on from this, Spencer?" She asked after they walked some more in silence.

"I feel like there are two types of people in this world. The ones that get over their grief and move on and the ones that descend into some sort of endless misery," He explained. "You will eventually move on from this, Bailey. You have already been in the darkness, you know that outcome and have become stronger for it. You forget, I know what it's like to be afraid of your own mind."

"How do I move on?" She asked.

"You keep doing what you are doing. Making more good days then bad days," He shrugged. "Find whatever your kind of love is and be happy."

"I can't have that," She shook her head, "I'm too broken, especially my heart."

"You'd be surprised what someone with a broken heart could do," he said honestly. "You can be happy with a broken heart, Bailey. You can learn how to heal and learn how to love again." He sighed and turned her to face him, "What's rare is finding someone who makes us happy, Bailey. It usually comes when we least expect it."

"Thanks Spence," She whispered into his shirt. "You always know just want I need to hear. I love you."

He chuckled and smirked, "That's me Boy Wonder as Garcia says."

"Hey lunch is ready!" Luke called out from the house.

They headed inside and had lunch with everyone. After lunch they headed to the library and she sat in front of Spencer while he battled Owen again on chess. She smiled softly as she watched them in fascination then chuckled when Spencer said, "The word Checkmate in chess comes from the Persian phrase "Shah Mat," which means "The King (shah)" is dead (mat)."

"Fascinating," Owen said as they reset the board again.

"How is he able to beat Mr. B?" Luke asked curiously to Axel who just shook his head.

"Our conscious mind can process sixteen bits of information per second; our unconscious, however, can process eleven million," Spencer said without looking up from looking at the chessboard.

A knock on the door made Bailey break away from watching then sigh as Lilly came in. "Hey girl, ready to go talk? Oh hello Dr. Reid," She smiled when she saw him.

"Hello Dr. Anderson," He nodded to her.

"Can we talk later?" Bailey asked. "I don't want to miss any time with Spence."

"Okay," Lilly nodded, "I'll just hang out with the boys for a bit."

"Thank you, Lilly," She smiled gratefully.

During dinner Spencer got called back into work and after he left Lilly pulled Bailey up to her room to talk. "You know you and Dr. Reid have an unique relationship."

"Yeah," Bailey nodded as she clutched her squishmellow. "I know it is."

"You love him," Lilly said point blank.

Bailey sighed and thought about it for a minute, "The relationship between Spence and I already turned into something more intimate than love. Loving each other forever but not possessing each other. Always remembering the best about each other."

"Been watching Meteor Garden again? Quoting Hua ze lei about his relationship with Jing?"

Bailey shrugged, "it fits for us if you think about it. Look what happened to Hotch with his family, his wife got murdered by one of the monsters. I'm too fucked up to have a long distance relationship. If I allowed myself to love Spence like that my mind would constantly panic about him. I would have to see him all the time to reassure myself that he's okay. I can't do that to him, I can't pull him away from being a superhero, it's not fair to him. It's better to just have what we have, our own unique thing."