CHAOS IN YOU || RYEJI

39.

Hyunjin POV

There he was, on the playground quietly observing the other kid, ball on his hand while the others waited for him to throw it.

But Hyunjin's mind wasn't on the game being played. Instead, he was observing the kid who had caught his attention.

Shin Ryujin.

She was undeniably cool.

Always had been.

While other kids allowed themselves to be thrown down by others, Ryujin never went down without a fight.

If a kid pushed her, she would get up right away and punch the kid back.

She was strong, brave and everything that Hyunjin wasn't.

He was 13 years old now and they had been going to school together for some years now but they had never truly spoken. In fact, he wasn't even sure that she knew his name.

But Hyunjin knew hers.

That's when it all started.

One day after school Hyunjin decided to follow the girl. Keeping his distance so she wouldn't notice him but doing so until she met up with a group of men.

At first he assumed she was in trouble but he quickly realized that she knew them. The man greeting her while they exchanged something. Hyunjin couldn't quite tell what it was but his curiosity rose the longer he watched them.

'Ah, Shin Ryujin is so cool.'

That's what he kept thinking that day, watching her interact with grown men and fit in.

Hyunjin had trouble fitting in even with kids their age. But she could look confident even doing so with those men.

The moment she walked away, Hyunjin was prepared to continue following her until he had an idea. One that would unknowingly change his life.

With all the bravery he never knew he had inside, Hyunjin made his way to one of the men. Tapping on his back, earning himself a stare that was so intimidating that his legs started to shake slightly.

"Erm-" He hesitated, taking a deep breath before continuing. "I'm Hyunjin."

"Get lost." The man said, pushing him lightly.

He stumbled back but took a step forward again. "I- I want you to teach me to be like you." he asked, nodding to reassure himself more than anything.

"What?"

Hyunjin caught sight of Ryujin who surely had heard the commotion and turned back, the girl watching with curiosity from further away.

He then pointed at her, causing the girl to widen her eyes in surprise. "I want to be like her."

The man all chuckled, but one seemed interested by his words. Approaching him, getting down to his height and looking between Ryujin and him, a smile growing on his face.

"Okay, Hyunjin. Let's see what we can do about that."

The kid smiled but truthfully, he had no clue what he had just done.

When he was sent off by the same group of men, Hyunjin practically ran to distance himself, but felt happy that his plan had worked out.

Only to earn himself a punch from Ryujin who had waited for him. In the arm but it hurt nonetheless.

"Are you dumb?" the girl yelled, slapping him a few times in his body for what he had done. Hyunjin barely able to protect himself with his arms.

"Stop that."

"What were you thinking?"

"Isn't it cool?" Hyunjin asked, smiling to himself.

The girl only rolled her eyes before giving him a side glance and leaving him to walk home alone.

Had he known better, maybe he wouldn't have done that.

_______

"Ryujin, time to go home."

Ryujin was currently at the back of some club she often frequented. The girl was barely thirteen yet spent more time in places such as this one than at her own house.

Hyunjin wasn't sure why that was but he didn't think it was somewhere they should be at.

They had been friends for a year now but there was still a lot he didn't know about the girl. Even when he was an open book with her.

"No, thank you, dad." the girl responded sarcastically, causing the others she was with to laugh. All older than her and enabling this behavior.

Hyunjin knew how easy it was to get lost in it. He had the opportunity too and if it weren't for his family, he would in likelihood be right there with Ryujin.

So he tried, as best as he could. To be there for her when nobody else was.

He was only fourteen and she was a year younger. Yet all too often they were surrounded by things they shouldn't be.

Gambling, cigarettes, alcohol and drugs all constants.

Ryujin turned back to continue whatever she had been doing until Hyunjin pulled her with him. Both fighting each other on their way out of the bar. Luckily they didn't have to pass the crowd. The exist was always their entrance as well.

"What's wrong with you?" Ryujin yelled, finally freeing herself from his grasp.

"What's wrong with me? What's wrong with you."

Ryujin laughed, pushing him. "Didn't you want to be like me? Wasn't this your goal? Then be like me and leave me the hell alone."

Hyunjin was stunned, standing there while he watched the girl go back inside.

Ryujin didn't show up for school for an entire week after that.

Slowly but surely they became best friends. And even when Ryujin complained about how clingy he was, they still went everywhere together. Except for when the girl would randomly disappear.

With time he figured out why that would be. Wishing he had remained in ignorance.

Sometimes he would help her. Hide the bruises or claim they were from the two playing around. Teachers easily believed the two of them. It was easier to believe that than to look for the real answer.

He witnessed her self destructive behavior. How she stopped fighting her destiny.

Sometimes when they were younger Ryujin would talk about getting out of their hometown. Being free from her life. She had dreams of going far away, seeing other places. Traveling.

He wanted that for her.

But nowadays, he knew it wasn't in her plans.

When they finished high school he watched as Ryujin got accepted to the university she wanted and how her smile was bittersweet as she threw the letter on the trash.

"University isn't for me." She lied and he knew it was a lie.

Then came the time to get jobs and of course they chose the same one.

But now...

Things were getting worse every year that passed.

He knew it was only a matter of time before Ryujin either got herself killed or gave up completely.

Hyunjin wasn't sure which would be worse.

He could see how the girl was slowly becoming less and less herself. How more often than not she was covered in wounds.

It pained him.

Even after everything.

Even after she almost got him killed.