CHAOS IN YOU || RYEJI

56.

Ryujin has dark blue short hair.

How does she know that?

Well, she's currently staring at her.

In Yeji's defense, she didn't mean to run into the girl. She didn't plan to see her again but life had other plans for them.

You see, Yeji didn't often visit her father's ashes. Maybe that's a crude way to put it but in Yeji's defense she didn't really attribute much meaning and value to the ashes of the dead.

In her mind whatever a person once used to be was gone by the time they were nothing but a dead body. So she didn't really see the point in visiting his ashes. It's not like he was there.

But occasionally she would do so. Sometimes because her mother dragged her along. Others because she wanted to rant to someone and Hyunjin or her mother weren't really people she could vent to about whatever it was.

For example, Yeji once thought she had accidentally killed her hamster. She hadn't, it was hibernating. But Yeji was sure she would get grounded and that her brother would be mad. Before she found out the truth. So she went to her father's ashes and talked about it.

Surprisingly, it had made her feel a tiny bit better.

So there she was, visiting whatever remained of his physical body.

And that's when she saw the dark blue hair. A sight that instantly captured her attention. Unaware of who it belonged to until she saw her profile.

It was a strange sight.

Despite all that Yeji had found out about the man and how he had hurt his daughter, there she was. Mourning an undeserving person.

She could see her falling tears and barely audible sobs, each sound tugging at her heart. Making Yeji feel for the girl she wanted nothing to do with.

That's what she told herself. Again and again until Yeji couldn't focus on anything else. The conversation with her father now forgotten and focus fully on the girl's crying.

It took her exactly fourteen steps to reach the shorter girl. Handing her a pack of tissues which the other took without looking her way. Failing to notice who it was until afterwards.

Yeji only sighing as Ryujin stared dumbfounded at her, not bothering to say anything before moving to sit on the floor. Back against some random woman's glass window to her ashes display.

"Don't say anything. You'll ruin it." Yeji offered, after noticing how the other seemed to attempt to form words but failed to do so.

"I came here to talk to my father. Well, his ashes, but I can't focus on that because of you." Yeji spoke, shrugging while her gaze was fixated on a random object on the other side of the room. Unable to see the other girl. "Funny since you were to be the subject of my venting."

Ryujin only moved to sit next to her, leaving too much room between the two. Enough that one or maybe two slim people could have fit in there.

"Did crying to your father's ashes help you?"

Ryujin hesitated and Yeji didn't let her speak to respond. Speaking again before she could do so.

"I never found this particular place helpful until I just used it to speak about whatever problem I was facing. Don't get me wrong, crying helps with mourning but you can cry anywhere, can't you?"

"I guess." Ryujin let out, her voice making it clear she had been crying.

Yeji hummed before shrugging again, "I think you should keep these." the girl handed the tissues to the other, getting up afterwards. "I'll let you mourn in peace now. I just wanted to say, sometimes speaking helps more than crying."

And with that she walked out of the building, leaving Ryujin to stare while she held the tissues she had given to her.

Honestly, it was disappointing that she didn't get to talk about Ryujin because the girl was present. But she had forever to clear her mind of the other girl so she would just have to try another time.

Sitting in her childhood bedroom, Yeji was busy reading a book she had taken from work when something distracted her. One time. Two times. Three times. It continued until ignoring it was no longer an option.

Getting up, she moved to the window of her bedroom and saw who was responsible for the very annoying noise.

Raising an eyebrow at the other, Yeji made no attempt to open the window or move towards the front door.

Ryujin looking slightly defeated but nonetheless staring with pleading eyes.

Yeji closed the curtains and went back to her book. This time playing sounds of rain on her phone to distract her from anymore attempts from the other girl.

Texting wasn't an option after all. Yeji had long changed her phone number.

The next attempt came in the form of a letter.

She's not sure when it was placed as a bookmark inside her book. Maybe when she was distracted at the coffee shop. But then she had been with it all along. Or perhaps on the bus ride there. There were a few people near her. Was Ryujin one of them? Yeji hadn't noticed.

Yeji didn't read it. Refusing to do so.

How could she trust it?

After all, Ryujin had told her actions are what counts. Not words.

She didn't throw it out but she didn't open it either. Leaving the letter in the desk of her bedroom before going back to Seoul.