A Loser's Thoughts on Life

Failure

Okay Losers... Tomorrow is the day. The day i take my G1 test.

I am equal parts excited and terrified. You see, I really want to learn how to drive. I feel ready. I can beat every level of MarioKart. What else could I possibly do to prepare?

Totally kidding. But I have studied a lot and I am really excited because *if* I pass I will be the first of my friends to get my licence. And I love being first, if you haven't already learned that about me.

However, the big problem is the *if*. See, I have this teensy, itty bitty fear of failure. And by that, I mean I am TERRIFIED OF FAILING.

I'm afraid of failing tests, classes, projects, LIFE. Just everything. Absolutely everything. It doesn't matter what my mark is, how much I studied, how much work I put into it and how prepared I should feel, there's always this little voice in my head asking me "what if you fail? What if you lose everything you have worked so hard for in this moment?"

And yes, sometimes it holds me back. I'm always tempted to just stay in my little circle of comfort, content with what I have, never reaching out or taking any risks. Maybe I won't fail that way, but I certainly won't succeed that way either. Sometimes you have to risk it all to recieve the award.

Oh, and for those of you who are wondering what this G1 test thing is, it's basically a learner's permit for driving. If you didn't already know that. Anyways, moving along...

So yes. Failure. Fear. Two words that begin with F and go together in my mind.

What do I do to combat this fear? Well, I deal with it like I deal with everything. Convince myself it doesn't exist. Create an aura of confidence for myself so that I walk in, take the test, and convince myself that there is zero possibility of me failing.

The chances are already low (I think). I have taken practice tests online and passed them all, so I shouldn't be concerned, right? But I am. So yeahhhh.

Anywho, it will be alright. Life has this crazy way of working itself out sometimes. So moral of this rant is: don't be afriad of failure. Don't let it hold you back from doing the things you want to do. If you are ready and feel prepared, go for it! You can accomplish anything you put your mind too.

When people tell me I can't do something, do I yell at them that I can? Do I slap them across the face? Do I get really pissed?

(The answer is all of the above)

BUT

I also don't waste time by telling them I can do it. Instead, I go out and do it. That's how I prove I can do something. By doing it.

My wise words for the day.

UPDATE: I PASSED!!!! WOOO!

It's actually hilarious to look back on this rant because I remember exactly what I was feeling when I wrote it, and now I have accomplished two things: beating my fear, and getting my G1!

xoxo Emmalynn