✔ The One Year Sleepover

22. Dysfunctional Bathrooms

-Night-

It was pretty late at night. You walked out of your room searching for the toilet. Apparently, your bathroom got dysfunctional and annoying, you couldn't even use it.

It's freaking dark here!

You took a flashlight. You know, just in case. As you quietly walked down the empty hallways, you heaved a heavy sigh and glanced at the portraits hanging on the walls.

It's so dark and those portraits look like they could come to life any minute.

You shuddered at the thought and shook it off. At the beam of your flashlight, you saw someone standing at a distance.

Who's that? He looks fairly tall.....wait. What if that person is a thief? Or a killing machine??

Your heart started beating violently. That person with a pipe in hand, slowly turned his head towards you and gave off a creepy smile. He mumbled something under his breath and slowly walked to you.

Shit. He's coming close!

You were about to holler bloody terror until suddenly, the creepy guy's hand clamped your mouth shut.

"____?" he called.

Huh? How does he know my name?

You looked up and on closer observation, the person standing in front of you was Russia.

"R-Russia?"

"Da?" he smiled.

"What are you doing there?" you asked, calming down.

"I'd ask the same to you, da." said he.

"I needed the bathroom..." you sighed.

"Didn't you have one in your room?" he asked.

"I did, but, somehow, it went crazy."

"I see...coincidentally, mine went crazy too!" he laughed.

"How come?" you asked.

"I don't know," he said, taking your hand, "But..."

"But what?" 

"... when we find Amerika, I'll be sure to gut out his stomach for such inconveniences!" He smiled brightly.

You weren't surprised at his sudden sadism. It was a common thing, yet it still gave you jitters. 

"Anyway, I'll take you to a bathroom I found around here." he smiled again.

"Thanks." You nodded as you stole a glance at Russia and held his hand a little tighter.

It was a long walk with neither of you talking. You whistled a happy 'lil tune to keep yourself a jolly company. For some reason, he was taking a while to find the bathroom.

"I wonder where we've come..." He mumbled, "Amerika's place is a maze."

You continued whistling as he kept searching.

"Why are you whistling?" asked he.

"I'm bored..." you said, "Whistling does not help, but it's the only thing I can do right now."

"If you have nothing else to do, want to become one with mother Russia, da?"

"What? NO!" you shouted, "I mean, I really need to take a shi- I mean, use the bathroom!"

Damn, I almost let my "womanly attitude" off the cliff! Keep your ass careful, ____!! Whoa, whoa, whoa! What "womanly attitude"? I was a crazy lass ever since I came here!

Russia laughed, "Then you can be one with me later, da?"

"I never agreed to..." you sighed.

Just then you heard a loud moan.

"Is that a zombie?!" you asked Russia, quickly looking behind you.

"If it is a zombie, I'll hit it with my pipe!" said Russia, getting his trusty pipe ready.

"Aaaaaahh..." The moans got louder.

"Toileeeeet..." it said.

Toilet? This zombie wants the toilet? If ye want brains, them toilets got none, hun! Or do you want to take a dump? Wait. Can zombies make shit?

You shone the light in the direction of the moans and saw China walking like he had come from a grueling war.

"China?!" you screamed, "What happened?"

"Aru?" China fell on his knees and answered, "Dysfunctional... toilet..."

"I wanna take a nap..."

"I will nap right here..."

"Good night..." 

"What happened to yours?" You asked, shaking him vigorously.

"My toilet went crazy-aru!" he said.

"Huh? It's the same thing for us!" you almost shouted.

Russia got China on his feet.

"I came searching for a toilet-aru..." China said sadly, "And my legs are so tired!" he complained.

"Then, I'll carry you, da!" suggested Russia.

China narrowed his eyes at Russia suspiciously, "Whatever you're going to do... I am not becoming one with you, okay-aru?"

Russia nodded with a smile, hauled China over his shoulder and took your hand again.

The three of you went ahead when,

"BLOODY F*CKING HELL!! Where is the f*cking bathroom?!" someone cursed.

"Oh. It's Iggy." you said, not even turning back. England came walking down the hallway towards you and the other two.

"Oh, fancy meeting you three here. Have your toilets gone bonkers too?" He asked.

"Unfortunately." you replied.

"If you all are looking for a bathroom, count me in." 

"Sure." you shrugged.

As usual, Russia took your hand and China was still on his shoulder while England walked next to you. Just then your little group heard someone wailing loudly from a distance and someone else shouting.

"W-what the hell...?" You mumbled with a quivering lip as the four of you listened.

-Continued!

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