The Fifty Lessons

23. LET THEM BE HAPPY

Imagine you are all happy and cheerful.
And you're excited to share your happiness with your family/friends but when you tell them all that happened with you they don't share your excitement. There's a lot going on in their lives and hence they're stressed out and they yell at you or maybe do not pay attention to what you are saying or the worse even after hearing they are expressionless.
How would you feel?

Everyone wants people to share in their happiness.
If they're happy they wish for others to say "yayyy!! you deserve this..so happy for you" and not "okay and?..how do I care"
Everyone is occupied in their lives.
Everyone is going through a lot but just because you aren't in a good mood doesn't mean you'll ruin others' too!
See its simple, happiness is contagious. It spreads from one person to other.
Even if we're depressed, seeing a child laughing heartily brings a smile on our face, even if we do not know that child, even if we do not know the reason behind their smile, even if that smile is just for a moment it still makes our day thats because it is the way this universe works!
Seeing someone happy does make us happy especially if its a stranger or loved one because seeing the people we know (but aren't close to) happy makes us jealous sometimes but thats another day's story.

So what you need to understand is, that just the way seeing others happy can make us happy similarly seeing you happy can make many people happy too.
On the contrary, as you noticed how your mood is ruined when people do not share your happiness similarly when you do not show excitement in others' happiness their mood is ruined too.

We all have bad days, but just because we aren't happy doesn't mean the entire world needs to be unhappy.
And its natural, whenever we are sad we expect people to console us and share our pain and if we find them happy and cheerful we are simply jealous that when we are suffering, how can they enjoy their lives?!
It happens.
If not jealous, still we feel that they should be sad too or that they should not enjoy their joy rather console us and share our pain.
And this is where we go wrong.
We forget that happiness is contagious.
And the first step of a happy life is to be happy in others happiness!

Just because you are low, don't think that you would feel happier if people would console you, rather if everyone around you is happy that will reignite the spirit of happiness in you.
Just imagine it yourself,
You're all down and people around you are also low and depressed and consoling you, won't everything be sadder and sadder?
And then suddenly a cheerful and happy person comes up and says get up! Its gonna be alright and cheers you up!
If your company is all gloomy that will make you drown in your sorrow more and more whereas happier the people around you, happier you would feel.
No, but that doesn't mean people shouldn't console, ofcourse its important, but consoling should be done in a way that would lighten up one's mood and cheer them up and not make them even more gloomy.

So now just the same applies to them also.
They would also feel happier if you cheer them up and not just rant about your life to make them even more gloomy.
And when they're happy, they expect you to share their excitement and not just be concerned about yourself.
No matter how broken you are from inside, when someone comes up and shares their joy with you learn to be happy for them.
Share in their joy, congratulate them, be excited for them, appreciate them, basically make them feel celebrated and in that process you would automatically feel happier.
Because happiness is contagious and that is a fact, so when you make someone happy you automatically feel happier!
So just because you are broken doesn't mean the world around you won't celebrate, it will, and you need to learn to be happy for them even if you aren't from inside because everyone deserves to be happy and just because you aren't happy at the moment doesn't mean you won't let them feel happy.
Let them be happy.
No, I am not asking you to fake a smile, that would be the worst thing ever.
What I am saying is to ACTUALLY be happy in others happiness.
And even if you're sad you need to celebrate others' joy but that doesn't mean you're hiding your pain infact that way you would automatically find your pain vanishing!

See, overall we want others to feel the way we do which is obviously not going to happen all the time, because everyone has their time.
Right now if you're happy they're sad but what you need to do is not just think of your happiness and not bother about them but console them and cheer them up and you will feel even more happier.
Similarly if right now you are unhappy, and they're happy doesn't mean you will ruin their mood by just being gloomy rather show some excitement and share in their joy and make them feel celebrated that way you would find yourself find your pain vanishing and you would feel happier.
So in either cases, thinking about others makes you even more happier, so no harm in trying right?

See at the end remember one thing, that happiness is contagious and the more you think of others feelings and celebrate it over your own's the more happier you would feel.
Just because you are broken you shouldn't ruin others' happiness by not sharing in their joy because that wouldn't make you feel any better rather being happy for them and sharing in their happiness will take away your own pain and rejoin your heart. 
So learn to share in others' feelings, and you would continue feeling happier and happier, and isn't that what we want?

The choice is yours.