The Fifty Lessons

13. THE ROOT CAUSE

Okay, I want y'all to imagine something.
Imagine that you're all tired and exhausted. After having a long day you enter a room full of people. You are so tired so its natural for you to act irritated, right?
So you talk with them even though you don't feel like it, hence your behavior isn't pleasing.
You sound rude.
They judge you.
They make this perception about you that your personality is rude.
Obviously first impression is the last impression.
So without knowing the reason as to why you are behaving that way they judge you and whenever any conversations involving you are brought up before them, they are like "oh please, don't even get me started! that person is hella rude"

How do you feel?

I guess misunderstood is the word you're looking for.

Now put it in your own life. Isn't that what you've been doing too?
Infact isn't that what we all do?
JUDGING?

So easy to judge people from their first interaction, is it not?
Ever acknowledged the reason behind their actions?

Now I want you to think about all the people in your life, about whom you've formed a preconception.
You do think that, those xyz people are rude/jealous/egoistic/discourteous/ill mannered, don't you?

Now tell me, do you know them enough to judge their personality?
If you don't, then stop it right now.
If you're so curious have a conversation with them, you'll know yourself what they actually are. Or is it better to stay in delusion all your life?

And if you do know them enough, you've definitely have had some kind of bond with them.
(If you haven't been close to them and just seen them behaving a particular way with other people and by that you feel you know them, let me tell you you're wrong. Nobody is the way they're perceived. In order to truly know a person, you HAVE TO BE close to them. This theory is quite basic, try applying it to yourself. Will you show your true side to a stranger?)
So if you know a person enough to judge them, you've definitely have had a bond with them, maybe bitter maybe sweet.
If they've been friends to you, it becomes your duty to correct them and confront them of their actions instead of judging them.

Another possibility is you've had some kind of rift with them. That is why you think you know them enough to judge them, right?
Now firstly, nobody truly opens up to an enemy of some kind, so YOU DON'T KNOW THEM.
So better to confront them and ask them the "whys" of their actions. Its better to believe on facts that the other person themselves says about them rather than forming your own opinions on just some "heat-of-the-moment" reactions.

Another possibility is that you were a friend to them and now you are not.
Well yes, in that case you do know them enough.
But then why didn't you stop them if you felt they were doing something wrong?
And why are you not friends now?
Is it because of something you did?
Or something they did?
Pretty sure it was both-sided.
No fight in this universe happens unless both sides decide to fight.

So apologize maybe?
And if your relation was toxic and you've cut off with them, then why are you still holding back?

You've changed over time.
And they've too.
Yes, might be that when you were together their personality was actually not something to be proud of.
But they aren't the same person they were.
They've changed, maybe for better or for worse.
But you are still continuing to judge their previous versions.
Not fair right?

Pretty sure you won't want someone to judge you of something you did years or maybe months or maybe even days ago.
See, we all change every second.
We all have mood swings.
We all have our inner fights.
At points, we all act as devil and sometimes as an angel.
But there are only a few people, the ones closest to us, who actually know that we're neither of the two.
We're just a human who has its days.
Sometimes we are polite and sometimes we're not.
AND ITS OKAY!
Only as long as we don't judge others for the same.

I've encountered such incidents where people were judged without being understood, I myself have judged a lot of people without understanding their povs and I still do.

But when you think about it, it doesn't seem fair, does it?
Because if you're judging a person, you don't know them.
For if you did, you would correct them or you would hold till they get better with time.
But if behind the back we're judging someone, thats because we've been misunderstanding them.
Because nobody is bad, everyone has their reasons.
And if you still judge their actions that means you never tried to know the reasons.
And why will you afterall they aren't your favorite people, are they?

Whenever your favorite person acts rude you don't break away from them. You hold on. For you know this behavior of theirs is temporary.
But when a stranger does the same, we're quite quick to judge.

See nobody wants to be misunderstood.
Just imagine whilst you're reading this right now, atleast one person is talking ill about you.
You have this urge in you and you so hope that you could tell them what you actually are and they've been misinterpreting you! Right?

But alas! You cannot!.. not until, you stop doing it yourself.
And you can, you know, you really can.
By understanding that nobody is actually bad or good, we're all humans.
Yes the person you hate, might have actually done something that deserves the hate.
But then again, JUDGE THEIR ACTIONS NOT THEM.
Infact the worst of people will teach you how to not be like them.
So learn from them, thank them.
And stop judging them.

Its easier said than done, I know.
I myself judge people, but I am learning. Slowly and gradually.
And you will too.

Stop judging.
Its is the root cause of all the negativity in this world.

And I know you will stop judging, if you yourself don't wish to be judged.

Shall we start from today?

Choice is yours.

                           ~NOTE~

"They" in this lesson and other lessons is referred to humans in general.
Be it singular/plural.
Be it She/Her, He/Him, They/Them, Ze/Hirs.
Basically for everyone:)

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