I Don't Wanna Live Like A Broken Record (Oli Sykes)

Chapter 1

I was in the airplane with my parents. Great. We were moving. I had finally made some friends in my old school and now I had to move and meet some new people? Just great. Who's idea was it to move to Sheffield anyway? My mom's or my dad's? I stared at the clouds, since it was the only thing I could see from the window. I didn't want to move. I already had trouble making some friends back at Boston and now I have to redo everything all over again at Senior year. It was the last day of August so I didn't even have that much time to see the place out and I had to right away go to school. I looked over to see both my parents asleep. I just sighed and turned my IPod and clicked shuffle. "Product Of A Murderer" by Of Mice And Men came up. A smile appeared on my face as the song proceeded. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the rest of the flight. After a few hours I felt somebody shaking me.

"Katherine. Wake up, we arrived." I could hear it was my dad talking. I opened my eyes and saw him staring at me.

"I'm awake... Give me a second and I will get up." I told him and he nodded. I stretched myself and got up. I grabbed my backpack and started moving to get out of the airplane. I sighed in relief as we finally got some fresh air. We slowly walked and then stopped to wait for our luggage to arrive. Mine was black, my mom's was pink and my dad's was pink. They hated my choice of color. However, I loved black it was my favorite color. We walked and got into a taxi.

"Ready to see our new home?" My mom asked.

"No." I answered shortly. She glared at me. Oh, sorry for being honest.

"You know you can try to pretend to be happy about our decisions sometimes." She complained. I sighed.

"Yeeeyyy! Better now?" I said in a sarcastic way and waved my hands in the air. Now my father stared at me.

"Just listen to whatever those 'satanic' bands are will you? All you do is listen to that 'satanic' shit and wear their shirts. Put your IPod on so at least we don't hear you complaining the whole fucking time." He told me. I didn't even bother to argue. I didn't feel like it and especially in a taxi. I got my IPod and once again there went my shuffle. "Empire" by August Burns Red started playing. I hated the fact that they thought my bands were that. They don't understand anything. They don't understand that these 'satanic' bands are actually saving the living shit out of me. In a matter of half an hour we arrived in front of a white house. Great... white! It seems plain as fuck. It feels like we have no personality. I got out of the taxi and got my luggage. We entered the house and they showed me my room. It had pretty much all the stuff I had back in America however just in different spots. I looked at the walls that were blank.

"I'm going back to my room... great I need to get the posters and attach them all over again." I muttered to myself. I put the luggage on my bed and I looked on my desk where there was a pile of posters. I specifically told my parents to leave them there so I would do it myself. I got the first poster and put it on top of my bed. I started my routine and covered pretty much the walls with my posters. I stepped a bit back and stared at the work I did.

"Now, that's a lot better." I smiled, as the room seemed more like mine. I opened the luggage and emptied it and put all my stuff where they belonged. After I was done I laid on my bed for a bit. Hey, at least they have Rock Sound here. That's something good. I looked at my IPod to see what time it was. 6:54 P.M. I had time until dinner. I got up and searched in my backpack. When I founded what I needed I went to the bathroom. I turned the water of the shower on. In the mean time I took off my sweater to stare at my arms. They weren't... clean. I stared at the metal object I was holding in my right hand for a few seconds. Then I brought it closer to my wrist. I pressed the blade against my skin and moved it. One line... two lines... three lines... four lines... fives lines... six lines... seven lines and I stopped. I started crying as I watch the blood flow on my arm.

It felt like one day I woke up and I was a teenager. Like that, all of a sudden, no warnings. I woke up in an unknown body that was overweight in my eyes. I started wearing only black and I had suicidal thoughts pretty much like 80% of the time. God, I was a mess, just a mistake.

I stripped down completely and entered in the shower. I tried to relax however I couldn't, it was all too much. The stress of moving, the stress of knowing that I was forever alone, and that no one would understand. I cried my heart out not worrying for my parents to hear me. They were all over the other part of the house so there was no trouble. When I finished washing my hair and body I turned off the shower and covered my self in a towel.

I entered my room and looked through my clothes. I picked out an All Time Low shirt and guitar pick necklace, black skinny jeans and my back combat boots. I finished my outfit and Iwent back to the bathroom just to dry my hair. When I was done I went back to my bed and took out my laptop. I went back to Tumblr and checked the number of followers. 3.6 K I smiled however at the same time frowned. My Tumblr wasn't a happy blog. I used the blog so I could have expressed myself fully without people judging. I wondered about how many other people were sad and depressed. After I reblogged some stuff and answered some fan mail and anon questions I went on YouTube to check if there were and new music videos from any of my bands. Nothing. Then somebody knocked on the door.

"Yesss!" I answered.

"Kathy, dinner is ready!" She replied. I got up and opened the door. I saw her walking down the stairs towards the living room. I followed her and took a seat at the table. My mother had made some lasagna. I was happy about that. She was great at those. The dinner was pretty quiet. I decided to speak up.

"When does school start?" I asked. They both looked up at me surprised that I actually spoke.

"Umm... it starts in three days so I think you should get all the stuff you need and get ready." My dad responded. Great. Another source of stress was about to start again.

"Yeah, okay I will Dad." I simply responded. Nobody spoke for the rest of the meal. When I finished I got up and put my dish in the sink and walked back up to "my room". It still didn't feel like it. My room is back at Boston. Not here. It will take me about a week to call this my room. I walked back to the desk and got all the stuff I thought I would need on the first day of school and stuffed it in my black backpack. I didn't put that much because usually you don't really do shit on the first day. All you would do is get back to your friends and meet the teachers which every single one of them would just explain the class rules and expectations and then usually leave us alone.

I lay on my bed and just started thinking. Well, I guess I had to present myself at school in just three days. Everything will go terribly wrong. I knew it. I looked at my left and noticed something I didn't notice before. A small balcony. Now this was great. I stuffed my hand once again in my backpack. I got what I needed and went outside and looked around. My parents couldn't see me here and nobody knew me here. I got out a cigarette and lit it up. I breathed in the smoke and put the lighter back in my pocket. I let the cloud of smoke leave my lungs. I had to admit, I was one fucked up girl. I was pretty much everything a parent wouldn't want from their child. I smoked, I self harmed; I almost had no friends, however I didn't drink. I let the cigarette rest in between my fingers for a few seconds and took in some more smoke. I hid the packet in the very bottom of the backpack so that my parents wouldn't find out. Since I knew that it would take me a few days before knowing the place I bought a new pack the day before so it could have last me a bit.

After I finished the cigarette I went back inside and changed into my PJs. Well, it was mostly and oversized Suicide Silence tank top and my underwear. I curled myself under the blankets and slowly fell asleep.