I Don't Wanna Live Like A Broken Record (Oli Sykes)

Chapter 5

** Oli's P.O.V. **

** Friday **

My alarm clock set off. I woke myself in pain. I tried not to make a sound as I bent over to turn the goddamn thing off. I slowly got out of my bed and went to choose something to wear. I put on a black jacket, some jeans, and some random shoes. Last night my father had punched and kicked me several times. He called me a useless faggot over and over again. He made me think that I was better off dead. Well, what was my use of being here anyway? I have been approached a few times by some guys at school. Luckily they stopped with the verbal abuse. None of them really punched, kicked, spat, pushed, oh wait they did push me a few times against the wall. I had enough of this bullshit. I got my stuff and got out of the house.

As soon as I exited the house I took out a cigarette so I could calm down a bit. I didn't want to arrive at school with my stress at the maximum level. A lot of people at our school smoke, however many of them did it for the heck of time or because all their friends did also. I didn't. I hated myself and since I didn't really wanted to give myself some scars I went to smoking. It helps me calm down for a bit. After a bit I noticed someone familiar. It was Kathy; she was walking to school also. She was a bit in front of me. Wait what? She was smoking? She smokes? Why does she smoke? She's full of friends and she's happy. Then I reminded that almost all of her friends did also. I walked a bit faster so I could catch up with her.

"Hey Kathy. How are you?" I said when I finally arrived at her pace. She seemed surprise to see me and she took of her earphones so she could have listen to me. She gave me a faint smile.

"I'm fine thanks. What about you?" She told me. Something in her voice and face made me think over wise.

"Ehh, I don't complain. So what happened now?" I asked her. She was took off guard.

"What do you mean?" She asked me confused.

"Well, you told me you were fine. Usually well people say 'fine' they're not really ok. They just don't want other people to know so they tell others that they're fine so they won't ask questions. Why are you sad?" I asked her. She took another puff from her cigarette and looked down for a second.

"I don't know really. I just feel... BLEAH. I don't know how to explain it. It's just that I wake up and I feel like this without a reason. I feel like that and it just sticks with me for the rest of the day." She told me. I understood her, I would feel like shit many times without a true reason behind it.

"So, why do you smoke?" I asked her. He shrugged her shoulders.

"It calms me down. At first I used to smoke to keep things off my head and in the mean time it kinda became a habit. Despite that many times I still smoke when I'm stressed or I'm mad or sad so I just forget it and relax a bit. It calms me down. Do you?" She told me. I nodded my head.

"I pretty much have the same reasons of you. I use it to escape whatever my mind was thinking in that moment. I use it to calm me down after whatever thing happened and bothered me a lot. They was a point that I was thinking about... self-harm, however I wanted to try this first. I knew it would kill me still, I had less chance of dying right after doing it than I would have making scars. So yeah..." I looked over and saw her tense up. Maybe saying that wasn't the best thing...

"I'm sorry if I bothered you with what I said." I told her. She shook her head.

"It's ok, don't worry about it. I was wondering, are we friends or something? I mean you change from being a dick and not talking to me to and not wanting anything to do with me to then becoming a really nice guy that wants to become my friend. I'm kinda confused." She told me. Well, I want to be friends with you. But I'm afraid to let you in. I don't want to end up thinking about stuff that will never happen. I don't want you to end up hurting me and then leave me alone like everybody did. In the mean time we arrived to school and her friends were waiting for her.