Chapter 437: Really Trying

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Lily followed her babysitters to the bathroom. She didn't really understand why, but they seemed to treat it like the most natural thing in the world. She was vaguely aware on some deep, instinctual level that she might have been scared by this situation. But there was reassurance too; she remembered that she'd talked about this before. Jack had asked a couple of questions, talking about something that one of them had thought of that she might enjoy. She'd known that he meant himself, because there was no way Garfield would ever think of something so naughty. And she'd known that the idea was so weird, no sane person would ever think of it. But she'd been curious enough about how it would feel, so she'd said yes. Then Caitlyn had picked up the whiteboard and pens, giving some pretense that they'd thought of this weird scene together, and Lily had completely forgotten what they were talking about.

When she tried to think about it, her mind was a blank. They'd asked her some funny questions, teased her about being a baby even when she knew she was a big girl in every way that mattered. And then they'd walked her up the stairs and across the hall to the bathroom. One of them held each of her hands to keep her from falling, which made her feel safe and secure even though her feet were as dextrous as ever, and there was nothing childlike about her gait. But she had no idea what they were intending with their choice of destination. Why would they go to the bathroom when it wasn't bath time? She didn't understand, and she could only guess this was the naughty part.

Whatever it was, she would have given anything right now to find out the riddle lying behind this secret.

"Umm..." she asked as they helped her through the bathroom door. "Do I need a bath?"

"No, don't worry," Cait smiled. "Not unless you have an accident in your panties again. But I'm sure you're going to be a big girl this time."

"Yeah!" she practically jumped with joy when she thought about showing what a big girl she was. She knew that this was something she did every day, and that she was very much an adult. She was older than everyone in this house aside from Nyx, and she didn't need the babysitter talking down to her. She would show them just how grown-up she was, and they would all be impressed. There was only one question still to ask: "Ummm, how do I do that? I don't need a bath"

"You will do if you wet yourself," Garf answered, a lot more polite but still saying things that Lily couldn't agree with. "You said you need to make tinkles, didn't you?"

Lily nodded, and found herself blushing so hard that she couldn't think of anything else right now.

"Well then. If you go in your pants like a baby, you'll have to take a bath and we'll all know you aren't the big girl you claimed. If you don't want that to happen, you'll need to use the toilet like a big girl, and try to show us you're big enough to be treated like an adult."

"Fine!" Lily pouted, hands on her hips until she realised how much that made her look like a frustrated toddler. Even if it wasn't part of the instructions they'd given her, sometimes it was too easy to just go along with the role, getting carried away and filling in the bits they hadn't given instructions for with whatever seemed to fit the childish role. But she could still remember how big she was, and she could push those things to the back of her mind if she tried. All her adult knowledge was still there, she was sure. All she needed to do was use the toilet like a big girl and she knew she'd feel so proud of overcoming their suggestions. So she asked the only question that came to mind: "How do I do that?"

The two babysitters tried to explain, but Lily couldn't really understand what they were asking her. And it really didn't help that they kept talking like it was the most natural thing in the world, and everybody should already understand what they were saying. Or that Garf and Cait were both talking at once, and they didn't seem to be talking about the same thing. Or they had their own ideas of how to explain, and they hadn't planned who was going to go first.

"Okay, what's going on here?" Jack walked up outside the door, and looked at them all with an amused grin. "I hope you're not confusing the little girl. Do you need some help, Lillibel?"

"I'm going to use the bathroom like a big girl," Lily declared proudly. "I don't need any help at all."

"Really? Should I ask these two to leave you to it?"

"Well I..." she started, but she knew that she couldn't finish that sentence. "I can do it. I just don't know how."

"Okay, it doesn't help to have everyone talking at once. So let's say Garfield or Caitlyn will help you, it's up to you. Then you only need to listen to one person, and it'll be easier not to get confused. Does that sound like a good idea?"

Lily nodded, and felt her urge to argue rising up again. She didn't need any help at all, she wanted to say. She could do it all by herself, except that she obviously couldn't because she didn't even know what they were trying to get her to do. All she'd been able to work out so far was that it would help her not to wet her panties, which seemed like a very good thing if she was going to remind them that she was really an adult. She looked up towards Cait, the only girl among her current babysitters, and obviously the one she trusted most. She certainly wasn't going to ask Jack to help her, when he liked to think of such mean things to put on the whiteboard. This whole thing was probably his idea, and while she loved the feelings of confusion and helplessness, it didn't make sense to trust him in the middle of a game he wouldn't let her understand. Caitlyn was clearly Jack's girlfriend, but that just meant she was the one who could make him behave.

She didn't say anything, but meeting each other's eyes for a few moments, and then some significant glances between the babysitters that seemed to speak volumes in an unknown language, seemed to be all she needed. The two boys left the bathroom, closing the door behind them, and Lily started to get excited again about what she was about to do. Whatever that turned out to be.

"So, do you think you're ready to go potty like a big girl?" Caitlyn asked, smiling and supportive. The best kind of teacher of all, Lily thought.

"Yes!" she answered. "Please, tell me what to do?"

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