Chapter 43

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nathans pov

"Nathan?" croaked a voice and I shot up awake. "Ellen?" I asked as my eyes got used to the light. I saw Ellen was awake and looking at me. "sorry, I know you don't care about me anymore." I said as I let her hand go and stood up. "no Nathan." she quickly said and hope shot through me, but I quickly crushed it.

"I know the only thing that matters to you is your next fix." I spat angrily. "what? You're what matters to me." she sobbed and I looked at her confused. "Nathan, I do love you, the reason I pushed you away was because I saw how depressed you got when I was taken and I saw a gun out to your head because of me. I wanted you safe, I wanted you happy. I pushed down my fear and pushed you away so you could be happy, so you could find a normal girl and have a normal relationship, so you could do everything you want with your girl, so you could have a normal life. I started doing drugs and drinking because I couldn't cope without you, I used them to cover up my pain and fear, but I can't live without Nathan, I know that now." she sobbed.

I ran over and grabbed her in a hug. "oh fuck Ellen, why?" I asked. "I don't want normal, I want you, I want you with All your shit and all your fear and everything because I fucking love you." I said and she kissed me. "I'm so sorry baby." she cried.

"no no no, don't cry." I said as I wiped the tears off her cheeks. "you didn't what you thought you should have, it's the past. I don't care as long as I can have you again." I said and she looked at me. "I'm so sorry, I wish I could just let you be happy with a normal girl, but I cant live without you." she said. "and I can't live without you babe." I said.

"promise me you'll never OD again, promise me." I begged and she nodded. "I promise nathan, I promise." she said and I kissed her. "fuck I missed you, the last month was almost as bad as when you were taken, I couldnt stand you hating me." I admitted. "it was so hard baby, saying all those things to you, I hate myself for putting you through that." she said and tears started coming again.

"no no no, no crying love." I said as I wiped them off again. "there's been to much crying, we need to be happy." i said. "come on, let's go home and have a cuppa and watch some tv, let's just be happy and normal for a while, ok?" I asked. "ok natty, ok." she said and she hugged me.

We checked out of the hospital and ended up back at the flat. All the boys came down and said hello and talked, then Maggie came down and Ellen and her had a long talk. I wished I could hear what they were saying, but I was to far away.

They hugged and Maggie slapped Ellen in the back of the head and she gave Maggie an angry stare. "come in love." I said as I patted the couch next to me. Ellen came over and sat down and cuddled up with me. "god I've missed this." she said as she snuggled up with me and I flicked the tv on.

"me to." I whispered as I muzzled her neck and breathed in her smell. "I promise I won't push you away again Nathan." she said. "thank you baby, I don't think I could handle it again." I admitted. "well you won't have to, cause I love you, and I'll never leave you again." she said. "everything will be ok and we'll live happily ever after, I promise." I said and kissed her hair as we cuddled on the couch. Everything was finally coming together and working properly, maybe this could work.

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