Chapter 42

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nathans pov

"Ellen." I sighed. "what?" she snapped. "I haven't even seen you in a week, what the fuck has happened to you?" I asked. "I'm not scared anymore." she said. "I'd rather have you scared then this." I retorted. "well good thing it's not your fucking choice." she snapped. "you're destroying yourself." I said. "I'm already destroyed." she said.

"no you aren't, you could be fine, but you'd rather be...this." I said gesturing to her. "then better." I spat. "fuck off." she growled and walked out, slamming the door. I sighed and took a sip of my tea. It had been nearly a month since Ellen had gotten back. We'd been constantly fighting, she'd been horrible.

Every night she was out. She wouldn't go on dates or hang out. She was always stoned and shitfaced. She's leave for days at a time and not call or anything, then just reappear. It was obvious she didn't care. I hadn't seen her in a week and he's just returned. Dirty clothes, hungover and high as hell. She was really fucked up and I didn't know what to do.

"was that Ellen?" asked Maggie as she came into the kitchen. I looked over and sighed. She was two months pregnant and just starting to show. "ya, but she left again." I said. "I'm sorry Nathan." she said and came over and gave me a hug.

"I'm sure its just a faze, she'll come back soon." she said. "love?" asked jay. "in here." said Maggie. Jay walked in and Maggie went over. Jay pecked her on the lips and picked her up in a hug. He placed her on the counter. "how's our baby doing today?" asked jay as he touched her stomach. "why don't you ask him?" said Maggie.

"how are you doing today son?" asked jay as he looked down at Maggies stomach and touched it. "oh, you're hungry? You want some waffles? Oh, well i'll get right on that." said jay and he kissed her stomach, then popped some waffles in the toaster. I couldn't help but to be jealous of them.

Their relationship was just so perfect. They were happy together, while I had my fucked up shit, no matter how much I wanted to move on, I knew I couldn't, I still loved Ellen. I sighed and went into the living room, I didn't want to watch them anymore,it just depressed me more.

I spent the day lazing around the flat while Maggie and jay were running around being cute which honestly just made me sadder then I already was. "Nathan." said siva from the kitchen and I looked over. "what?" I sighed, clearly disinterested. "Nathan we have to go to the hospital." he choked. "why?" I asked. "it's Ellen, she overdosed." he whispered and I jumped up. I grabbed my coat and ran out the door after siva.

We got in a cab and got right there. We went in and to her room. She was asleep in a bed. She looked awful. She was to skinny and her skin looked to pale. Why hadn't I noticed she'd looked so bad today? I sat next to her and took her hand which was pretty cold. I just watched her. I couldn't believe I'd let this happen. I rested my forehead on her hand and cried.

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