The Ringleader | knj

28

Nothing.
I felt absolutely nothing.

Although we had gotten closer during the duration of time I'd first met him up until now... did I love him?

I mean I did think fondly of him, but now I was having second thoughts. For some reason, I didn't seem to feel the same sense of passion that he'd appeared to, and that bothered me a lot.

As expected, he was such a good kisser that I couldn't help but grow embarrassed at my own crusty, blotched lips that he didn't seem to be pulling away from anytime soon.

Did he genuinely even feel anything though?

Like he said, he goes through girls like bullets.

This must've been nothing new to him... yet for me, this was meant to be a huge moment: my first proper kiss!

And yet it didn't feel anywhere near to how I'd thought it would be.
I didn't want it to be like this... I didn't want it to feel so absurd to me.

It was meant to come naturally yet this felt forced.

I pulled away, feeling pretty guilty as I noticed his alarmed expression.

"I'm sorry," I faced away from him, embarrassed.
His lips slowly parted as if to say something, but instead he began to shake his head.

"No its my fault, I didn't mean to force it onto you like that," he bit his bottom lip, looking ashamed.

The silent atmosphere grew thick and tense as we both shuffled awkwardly, not knowing what to say to one another.

"I'll just go throw these away," he murmured, snatching the empty burger wrapper from my hand and pushing the car door open.
I bit at my nails nervously as I watched him slump back into the car, avoiding eye contact with him at all costs.

He took a deep breath, switched on the engine and drove onwards, forgetting that this whole incident had ever taken place.

The journey was silent, and not just the regular silent- a suffocating silence. I stared out the window, trying to escape my view of him as I'd felt to embarrassed.
"I'm sorry," I muttered against the window pane, watching as my cold breath clouded up the glassy screen.

"I get it." He said, his lips pursed and his hands firmly pressed against the gear shifter. "You want your first kiss to be from someone you actually love right?"

My eyes widened and I looked up at him, shocked by his judgement.
"How did you-"

"Trust me, I've seen it before," he sighed, carefully turning into the driveway. I pressed my thumb against my lip, inquisitively.

"Where?"

He scoffed at my question, gently tapping his nose.
"You know, you're  not the only girl I've encountered," he winked, unbuckling his seatbelt as the car came to a halt.

"Whore," I muttered, copying his actions and reaching out for the handle of the car door. He licked his lips, a devilish smirk placed upon his face.

"You know it," he raised both of his dangerously neat eyebrows, and clambered out. I glared, following him closely from behind as he unlocked the door.

He fiddled around in his pockets, finally locating the key and pressing it into the keyhole.
"Do you actually like me?" I asked, noticing his palm clench at my question. He left the key unturned in the door and folded his arms.

"What do you think?" he chuckled, gazing down upon me from his huge height. I scrunched my lips up to the side of my face, thinking.

"I don't think you do," I sighed and he tilted his head to the side, raising a brow.

"Why?"

"Why would you? I don't even know you all too well. And besides, if you did then you wouldn't be so timid about me rejecting you," I shrugged. He darted his tongue to the far left of his cheek, seemingly satisfied with my answer.

"Clever girl,"

My lips parted, surprised that my assumptions turned out to be right.

"Go straight to bed okay? I'll wake you up when we're supposed to leave." He carefully twisted the key and the door hinges swiftly unbuckled. I nodded, a sombre feeling overcoming me for some reason.

If I didn't love Namjoon, why did it hurt so much that he didn't love me either?

I mean why would he, he was only using me for bait anyways.

He pushed the door open widely, clenching his jaw as he noticed the corridors to be in complete darkness.

"Is there a power cut?" I raised an eyebrow, wandering past him. Suddenly, he quickly grabbed my wrist, pulling me behind him.

"Somethings not right," he murmured wearily, his eyes pacing backwards and forwards as he gazed across the ebony black view.

And he was right, because suddenly the lights went back on... revealing a blood-stained Jungkook laying lifelessly across the floor.