The Ringleader | knj

14

2 weeks had breezed by, most of it filled by sleeping- heavily drugged by Seokjin's medication that he'd injected into me everyday, and surprisingly it had worked.

For some reason my trust within them had grown, and I felt more comfortable with them; more safer. They didn't kill me after I practically blew up their van, and they'd been treating me especially nicely over the past few days. Maybe they really did see the good in me- like Hoseok had said, they too had once wanted to run away from their old torturous lives, and unlike me, they'd successfully managed to do it. Perhaps they were showing me sympathy?

Even so, I still hadn't heard a word about Namjoon. Was he even alive?! I shuddered at the thought of his death being a result of my wreckless behaviour.

I heard the door creakily open and in popped Yoongi's face, a small smile placed upon it.

"Feeling better?" he asked and I nodded, smiling back.

"Good. Namjoon's up if you want to see him," he said. I nervously bit my bottom lip, having second thoughts about meeting him- I mean, I wasn't putting my money on him being too happy to see me right now. Imagine, if he had that much hatred for me before... imagine how much he'd despise me now!

I took a deep breath, nodding- I was literally asking for a death wish.

"Okay, I'll go see him," I weakly replied, my mouth twitching at the words.

"I mean, he's not in a state to murder you if that makes you feel any better,"  He chuckled at my expression, shrugging.

I gulped at his words, nervously laughing.

"Let's go then," he opened the door and I heaved myself up, slowly following him down through the deep and dark corridor. All the bedrooms were on the same floor, like I'd discovered when Namjoon had first brought me up here.

I noticed as Yoongi halted outside a dark mahogany door that had been left slightly open. He lightly knocked on it, awaiting a response from whoever was inside.

Heavy footsteps approached, followed by the creakily opening of the door further outwards.

"Yoongi what is it? You are interrupting our quality time!" Seokjin glared, leaning against the door. Yoongi scoffed, rolling his eyes and signalling to me, who was busy hunched behind one of the pillars in fear of Namjoon bull-charging at me and ripping me to shreds.

"Ohhh," Seokjin nodded. "Shall I ductape Joon's hands just incase or-"

My eyes widened in fear and Yoongi groaned, patting my shoulder comfortingly.

"He's just kidding," He reassured me, glaring hard at his elder. "Go on, we're right here."

Shutting my eyes and whispering a prayer, I slowly neared his door, my hands trembling as I pushed the door handle down.

"Seokjin, who is it?" I heard a muffled and rough voice ask from inside.

I pushed the door open, his eyes instantly peering at me. His gaze quickly became a glare. I nervously swallowed, my saliva tasting nuclear as I felt his poisonous and bitter gaze meet mine.

His once smooth face now had a few dark bruises scattered along his cheek, his lip had been pigmented a slight shade of plum, his light hair had darkened: matted and sweaty, but his eyes were still that deep and brooding chocolate colour- the bright and comforting embers that I'd dreamed of, still non-existent.

"Oh. It's you." his expression dropped into a resentful sneer. I took a deep breath, nearing closer to him.

"I'm really sorry, I-I didn't mean to-"

He began to laugh bitterly at my apology, as if I'd just told him the funniest joke known to all existence.

"You're sorry? Oh, well that makes everything okay then, right? Suddenly my burnt and scalded tissues are healed! Suddenly I've forgotten my near-death experience that you almost caused! " he retorted, blatantly sarcastic.

I hung my head low, acknowledging his words.
He was right, a sorry wasn't going to cut it.

"Namjoon." Yoongi glared at him. He scoffed, slightly intimidated by his elder friend's deadly stare. Yoongi nodded at me, signalling for me to tell him what I told the other members... hoping that he might be a little more understanding.

"I know a sorry won't cut it but, I only ever just wanted a taste of freedom. I just wanted to live my own life, you see, I've never been able to do that and that was my only opportunity to escape from this daunting reality that I-"

"I don't care!" he angrily spat. "I told  you to stay put, you promised me, and then there you go trying to kill us all?! If I wasn't in this state I would've... I would've-"

"Killed me?" I scoffed. "Go ahead. Do us both a favour!"
He froze in place as the words left my mouth.

"You should've just left me to die if you hated me that much," I numbly murmured, my eyes welling up with tears.

He bit his bottom lip as he noticed my expression, his eyes softening slightly.

He sat there, silently.

"I'm sorry you almost died trying to save me. I'm also sorry that I burdened you, and that I wasn't a good enough victim. So thank you, thank you very much Namjoon! Thank you for ripping my life into even smaller shreds, more than my parents could have ever done!" I bitterly laughed, tears streaming down my face, the saline penetrating my open wounds and paining me even further.

He sat there silently, his eyes closely fixed upon me. He shuffled, uncomfortably, his lips opening as if he wanted to say something- but nothing came out.

Two arms surrounded my torso, pulling me into a hug. Seokjin looked at me, pitifully, and began to wipe my tears.

"It's not worth it, Seoyeon," he sighed, walking me towards the door and out of the room. "You tried your best,"

I continuously sobbed into his shirt, dampening it.

"Not on the bvlgari!" I heard him mutter and I scoffed, pulling away from him.

"I'm only kidding," He softly chuckled, patting my head. "Come on, let it all out,"

I sighed, wiping away the last of my tears, and pulled my knees up to my chin.

"Why does he hate me?" I shivered, remembering his terrifying exasperated state from earlier.

Seokjin sighed, shaking his head.

"He's been through so much; torn and tarnished by so many, I can't even say I blame him for how he turned out," he heavily sighed. "He's always been our backbone, his selflessness has helped us through thick and thin. He never used to be this cold... it's all the insincerity, all the lies, all the losses, all of that that's caused him to grow bitter,"

Insecurity, lies, loss?

"We're his only family, his only company. He'd sacrifice his own blood for us , heck he'd even kill for us. And we'd do the same for him," Yoongi added solemnly, sighing as he sat down next to us.

I bit my bottom lip, intaking their words.

If only I could figure out who Kim Namjoon truly was, and why these guys meant so much to him that he'd felt so threatened by my presence?

If only there was a way to show him that I truly meant no harm, that I wasn't like the people who I'd been raised with...

If only ...